Running Spike

T-Day Over

2011-11-29T12:59:00.000-08:00

A few things to consider. Last weekend Racer and I went and saw the Muppet movie. It was great. Now, if you are all things Muppets then I’m sure you already have your own Muppet Whatnot, but if you don’t then I suggest you get busy.

Now, far be it for me to think too deeply into something simple, but I couldn’t stop thinking about the love story of Kermit and Miss/Mrs/Ms??? Piggy. First off, are they even married? I vaguely recall a wedding scene in Muppets Take Manhattan, but according to a 2011 interview with Jimmy Kimmel the answer is no. NO?!? And this makes we wonder if they should really be celebrated as a couple. Seriously, the guy has been dating her for my entire life and they have had more fake weddings than Kim Kardashian and Britney Spears combined. The frog doesn’t need to commit because he gets the bacon for free…or so it seems. This sad love saga is equally as poor a message as Eminem and Rihanna’s Love The Way You Lie. What kind of example is this for young children?

So, last week I managed a few runs up in the crisp Colorado air. It sucked. My attempts to simulate low oxygen high altitude conditions by running in place in our steam packed bathroom failed to adequately do the job and after one mile I was praying for an angry mountain goat
to attack me and end my misery. There were none. Where have all the good goats gone?

I’m slowing getting back into running shape, but I’m enjoying the blessed struggle. As the winter slowly builds its momentum, preparing for its annual months of occupation, I’m feeling the urge to run more and more. It always amazes me how my desire to run waxes and wanes, and how other loves such as reading do the same—thereby creating a life where different passions rise and fall in such a way that one is always blooming as another begins its hibernation.

Winners and Unwinners*

2011-11-16T10:40:00.001-08:00

So, Nitmos’ enemy is going to be speaking today at Playmakers. Sadly, I’ll be working and unable to attend. But, as they say, the enemy of my enemy is my friend.** And there are few things I’d like to see more than old Mr. Dick Beardsley try to physically and emotionally intimidate my former neighbor. Or to see Nitmos dismount from his majestic honey-soaked unicorn. Boy I would love to see two of the worlds coolest men square off. This title bout would be bigger than the Dos Equis man and Chuck Norris’ 23 day intergalactic and multidimensional battle. The crisscross of lasers and daggers and armies of monkeys was epic.

Very quickly, the list to top five showdowns of all time are as follows:

5. Merlin v Madam Mim
4. The guys (or girls) from here…
3. KITT v KARR
2. Brussels Sprouts v Asparagus
1. Dos Equis Dude v Chuck Norris

But tonight’s showdown has the potential to best them all. Remember, there can be only one man to enter and two to live immortally…or have I crossed my 80s movies up a tad. Regardless, I wish I could attend.

Also, I’d like to congratulate One Crazy Penguin as my winter giveaway. Amazingly, BoB was the randomly drawn winner, but she indicated she didn’t need any of this cool stuff. So, One Crazy Penguin, please send me an email with your address and I’ll get it off to you.

*Unwinners you may ask. Well, if 'un' is simply a prefix for 'not' then unwinner should be self evident, inconventional as it may seem.
** But the question remains, who is my enemy and who is the enemy of my enemy…

Giving It All Away...Almost

2011-11-07T04:01:00.000-08:00

Seriously, Phil Collins suggested you just throw it all away, but that isn’t very environmentally friendly now it is. Not that the Brits are all that eco-friendly as it is…thank you very much industrial revolution. Cuz you know I know baby, that it is much better to give it away.

As winter approaches, post-work runs become ‘night runs.’ And few things are more depressing than going to work when it is dark outside and leaving work at 6pm and it is ~~still dark~~ dark again.

Now who will light up the darkness? Who will hold your hand? Well, if you win my giveaway, then you can light up the night with this Nike reflective vest!* You will shine like a beacon of hope as you slice the long hours of darkness. Sadly, I'm unable to help with the whole hand holding problem you have.

And memories will remind you that running on ice and snow is difficult. So the giveaway winner will also get a pair of ICEtrekkers. Sure, Yak Trax get all the glory, but these are way cooler—based entirely on anecdotal evidence and no actual field testing. But they are free so what do you care if they last a week.

Not so sure you are sold on entering my giveaway. How about this? What if I throw in two new Chocolate Raspberry Roctane Gu packets. All you have to do is leave a comment. And if that is too much work then I sure hope you don’t find yourself running at dusk, thinking about how much you really wished you had a Gu to help you through the last few miles of your run when you slip on some ice and then a car tragically runs you over because they never saw you crumpled on the ground. All of that can be avoided by leaving a comment…but only for one of you.

* Disclaimer: First, if you are engaged to me, you can't win. Second, the vest is a L/XL. If you are small, like Racer, then it won’t fit you. But it is still free. The ICEtrekkers are also a size L (M: 9.5 to 12.5; W: 10.5 +). But if you have smaller feet and you win then let me know and I’ll exchange them for a size that fits you.

She Said Yes!

2011-10-23T06:28:00.000-07:00

The Story of Racer

There exists, as sure as your eyes glance these words, a woman of unusual aptitude and beauty. A woman easily identified by her feisty persona and fiery hair. And although she is called by many adoring names, she is best known to my heart as Racer. A name which simply reflects the form my heart adopts whenever she is near; infinitely erupting in sweet palpations. But, I am perhaps giving away too much of the story. So I shall arrest my inadvertent attempts to spoil this ending and tell you a story of monsters in couches, ghosts in mountains, beluga whales, and miles of every kind.

Our story begins as Racer was preparing for a journey. Her preparation required she swiftly cover sunny southern roads. All of these hot and winding summer streets were purposely leading her to a northern city. All the while Racer remained unaware that a greater adventure awaited her under a flag of two light blue stripes and four red stars.

As months fell into weeks which diminished to days, Racer’s efforts intensified. Soon her preparation included speaking her fears and hopes to the night sky. Words I eagerly awaited to receive as they crashed around me amongst autumnal colors, even if they were not specifically intended for me. Her words touched my soul.

I befriended early morning hours simply to catch her words. I stole sleeping moments to dare a response. Gradually, Racer sent her star cradled words directly to me. There growing a conversation crisscrossing a nation guarded by fifty stars and thirteen stripes.

Our conversations quickly established a well trodden path between two souls, and a path leading Racer to alight into my world. And on the day before Racer would prove to herself that nothing is impossible, we met in an embrace of twisting anticipation and twirling joy.

The following day, chilly concrete and a clear sky awoke to battle Racer. Purposely crossing a line which signified her willingness to meet the challenge, Racer quickly found herself in a battle where every step counted. That day Racer was given every opportunity to quit before she finished, but she refused. For Racer found within herself a drive to continue when all excuses would allow her to stop, and when her body was pushed to its limits. Every step on every road she had ever paced built deep within a foundation of strength. Then, finally, the marathon of roads conceded and Racer emerged triumphant.

Only a few days later, sore from prevailing in a momentous battle and carrying her shield of perseverance, Racer and I rejoined. Together again, we first clasped hands under the eerie light of jellies. Acting as silly as penguins and as loving as beluga whales, Racer and I realized something special awaited if we were brave enough to fight for it. But, Racer still had southern roads to conquer, and so she went away.

Yet, not long after, Racer would sneak away to rounded mountains. There, nestled in caverns of ancient cliffs, Racer was confronted by the ghosts of her past. As wrathful spirits sought to accost, our ever-running hero was at a crossroad. Racer could jump off to one of several byways, thereby avoiding the haunts of prior years, or she could stand and vanquish her tormentors.

Racer, of course, chose to fight. On a sharp winter day, standing on a wooden bridge, Racer and I wiped away tears stolen from us by a westerly blowing winter wind. On that arc of wood spanning a river, Racer and I said “I love you.” And, amazingly, the ghosts of Racer’s past where stripped away. She was protected from them forever by her newly found armor, an armor of vulnerability.

Still, Racer and I remained separated, I under a banner of blue enshrouding elk and moose, Racer under a banner of diagonal red lines cutting through white. But such emblems only represented an obstacle of distance, and Racer and I continued to throw words to each other across the night sky. A love growing across a nation.

One day, while Racer transversed country miles, monsters asleep in couches awoke. Upon returning home, exhausted and unexpecting, the horrible monsters attacked. Like the worst kind of monsters, these monsters invoked Racer’s own fears and self doubts.

A battle for nothing short of Racer’s own happiness was at stake. And Racer will tell you, there were times when she felt she could not win. The feeling of invincibility she had previously known was waning. Racer struggled and faltered. She collapsed amidst despair. But Racer would not succumb to her inner monsters, and she rose like a phoenix. For deep within she found her strongest weapon, an absolute belief in her own strength. Racer rose and wielded her sword of confidence, slewing every monster.

Now, armed with the sword of confidence, the shield of perseverance, and an armor of vulnerability, Racer knew only one thing remained missing…a banner of her own making. Thus began the last quest Racer would ever embark upon alone. For, Racer could see that I too was seeking a unique banner. So Racer braved her way to a land of winter skies above miles and miles of rolling hills.

Only, not every quest goes as planned. One day, while seeking a prize to serve as a token of my desire to spend all future nights gently sending words across a table, under the security of a shared roof, and not across the starry night, I was entrapped. I had been ensnared by tentacles of woe and dismay. I was trapped. And only my brave Racer could save me.

Racer set out to rescue me, confidently returning to where our adventure first began, to the home of jellies and beluga whales. Arriving at the fourth stroke past the afternoon hour, to the place where our hands first clasped, Racer found me waiting to ask one question. One question that would deliver us into each other’s arms forever. An answer that would allow me to mark this day with a white stone.

So Confused

2011-10-14T13:18:00.000-07:00

The Redhead says she loves surprises. So, yesterday, as we cuddled on the couch and were watching—somewhat confusedly—American Horror Story, I decided to give her a little surprise. I turned to her lovingly and yelled “Boo!” She was very surprised.

But I wouldn’t categorize her response as indicative of someone who ‘loves’ surprises. Relationships are so confusing sometimes. Moreover, this gives me pause to reconsider her birthday surprise. See, I gave my buddy an extra house key and told him to sneak in late at night dressed as a bloody killer clown, armed with a fake knife, and yell “You’re gonna die! So enjoy your 30th birthday!!!”
Perhaps this would not be the kind of surprise she is very fond of.

On running related news, I continue to run, but not fast.

To Run or Not to Run

2011-10-09T15:57:00.000-07:00

What is the alternative? Lots. Sadly, there are lots of things one could do other than run. The Redhead has been swimming and riding her bike (when her Dr. allows) although she has been told to do nothing but stimulate her bone for the next few weeks.

But swimming? Biking? I can swim if it is to save my life, but I don’t swim for pleasure, or exercise, or any other reason other than to not drown. You’re a runner, so you’ve heard this idea expressed before. A friend says, “You run marathons? That’s crazy! I only run from the cops!” Basically the same idea. Only, swimming to save your life is easily distinguishable from breaking the law and then running from the cops because 99 out of 100 times you are not swimming from the cops to save your life. Plus, when a friend says that to me, my first reaction is to say, “If you only run when you are running from the cops, they will catch you every time. Seriously, even the out of shape donut loving ones will catch you. That is a terrible approach to avoiding the police. I strongly suggest you start running more often to ensure you can actually escape the cops…otherwise running from them will only provoke a billy club beat-down when they catch you. And they will.”

And now to biking. Seems everyone is all about bikes. The Redhead got a trainer, and then there’s this person, this person, this person, this person, and even this person to name a few who ride. But I’m not so sure I’m going to hop on the uncomfortable seat fad. Really, wasn’t it only a decade or three ago when you were using your new pogo-ball? Remember breaking open your first thigh master, eager to feel the inner burn? I’m not so sure that bikes will not suffer the same fad status. And of course, I’ll go get me a bike and the next thing I know unicycles will be all the rage. Doubt me. Let’s talk about how minimalist shoes and gear was all the rage until the rise of nude 5Ks.

Yep, I think I’ll stick with running for now.

A huge congratulations to everyone who heroically ran Chicago this past weekend. Seems the windy city decided to give another hot and angry day for the marathon! Your finish is something to be extremely proud of.

These Long Runs are Killing Me Smalls

2011-10-05T12:34:00.000-07:00

Or so I blurted out as the Redhead reflexively pulled covers over her head to shield her eyes from the light that fluttered in the room. She mumbled, “How far did you go?” “Five miles,” I replied.

A mutual laugh.

Getting back to running is like getting back to most things. And, the attitude you adopt is likely to determine whether you stick with your return after a few weeks. There is something inherently humbling about struggling to finish a 5M run at a pace you would consider, under normal circumstances, a very easy run.

Struggling to do something your mind—notwithstanding all the reason and experience and tempered expectations you can enumerate—is the most difficult task any runner faces when coming back from an extended break or injury. And attitude is the factor that determines your willingness to continue to struggle through these ‘underperforming due to unreasonable expectations’ runs. With time and effort come better times and longer runs.

If you chose to have a negative attitude about these early runs, you will quickly feel defeated and your exuberance and desire to run will diminish. Soon you will be finding reasons to not run. A negative attitude spreads fast, and lingers longer than two weeks of positive runs.

This is why I chose to have an attitude of bemusement and pure enjoyment about these early-return-to-running runs. When, after mile two, my internal doubt voice begins to suggest shorter routes, I try to force a laugh and accept the joy of effort and pain. While a negative attitude takes almost no emotional energy to adopt, maintaining a positive attitude is a daily effort. But, an effort well worth the results.

And this attitude was most helpful during my extremely difficult (insert sarcasm) of a 400, 800, and a 400.

A Posty Post

2011-09-29T17:49:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you need to just stop making promises (heartfelt at times and vague at other times) that you are going to get back to running and get out there and run. And if you are really struggling to turn that decision to run into action, like I was, then the best thing is to just sign up for a local 5K and go get your guts stomped out. Consider my guts stomped.

It was ugly, even the start was ugly. Not having run consistently or much at all for the past five months, my goal was simply to not hurt myself and average sub 7:30. Utilizing a local 5K to raise money for the unfortunate children of fursona parents, or something along those lines, I just laced it up in an attempt to jumpstart my running.

As you can imagine, a 5K to benefit neglected children of fursona does not draw a large crowd. And I was pretty much assured an AG notwithstanding the 10 year age group categories. But that was because only three guys were in my age group.

All that said, the first mile was just what I wanted, a sub 7. Now, in theory, I should have been running faster, seeing how there were several furries in hot pursuit (a lion, a tiger, and an aardvark), but I’m out of shape…and way out of running shape.

If the Redhead was there to observe, she would have thought it less of a wild-animals-chasing-me scenario as it was a guy dressed like the new triple stuffy.

Yep, pretty much me. A little help Shaq?

Regardless, it was more important that I get out there and start running than find the perfect 5K to make my return. Also, I’ve finally got a new marathon. Next spring I’ll be doing the inaugural Lansing Marathon. Inaugural, in case you don’t know, means first. Lansing is my ‘adult’ hometown and I’m glad they are finally getting a marathon. We have several marathons in MI, but I would argue only three are well know within the state (Detroit, Grand Rapids [those two always on the same day], and Bayshore [in Traverse City]). Now, we also have the Martian Marathon and the New Year’s Day Get Your Hung Over Fat Ass Running Marathon, and these; but not much more.

So, it is my hope that the Lansing Marathon can join the ranks of well known and respected Michigan Marathons. Regardless, I’m thrilled about the idea of running a marathon on roads I know and train on.

Running in the Hot

2011-05-24T05:48:00.000-07:00

It is time to get back to running because the week of gluttony turned into the month of gluttony. Typically I go for a 5K or 10K PR after a marathon cycle, but I started to feel some weird knee issues. I went to the sports doctor who told me, based on my description of the injury, that she feared the worst. But, after examining my knee, I was informed I was being a baby. I protested and told her I was tough. She said if was really tough I wouldn’t be there; I only had a strained quad. My prescription was to ice and stretch. I mostly took more time off.

But on Friday I ate a yogurt and nearly puked. Time to run again.

On Saturday I got up early for a long run. I thought 8 easy miles would be fun. No worrying about time, only fun. And it was. During my run I had two important thoughts: 1) I need to make it a priority to run more in hot hot angry sun conditions; and 2) during the first mile I think crazy thoughts. Seriously. During mile one of my 8 miler I thought I’d just bump it up to 10. I always do this. During mile one I think I’ll start doing two-a-days or 30 mile long runs. Hummm…why so brave in mile one?

On Sunday I began my running in the angry sun with a 4M in the low 80s. It was awful. I love it. Nope, I did not.

Also, I've done a guest post about spectating over at Tales of a Running Mom.

Otherwise: All Things Go

2011-04-21T19:01:00.000-07:00

I got out of bed

on two string legs.

It might have been

otherwise...

This Boston couldn’t have been any more different for me than last year’s Boston. The preparation for this Boston was significantly better than last year (see 3 runs last April compared to three runs the week of the marathon). I can honestly say I’m in better shape than I’ve even been for any of my previous marathons. My training was ambitious, and my goal was equally lofty (for me).

And yet, this year’s Boston is so similar to last year’s in one very important way: Weather. Last year the weather in Boston for the days leading up to the race were cloudy and rainy and in the 40s. Then race day came and so did temps in the 60s. Now, I know some people think sunny and high 50s going into the mid 60s is perfect racing weather—but it all depends on what side of the Mason-Dixon line you live on. For me, that kind of weather spells overheating and cramps.

This year the weather before the race was cloudy and rainy and windy and 40s or mid 50s. And again, on race day the weather was sunny and going into the 60s. I will admit I was disappointed to see this, but I wasn’t going to allow that to prevent me from trying to run my race. As a runner, you try to control so many things; but you can never control the weather (and if you can, than you and I need to have a little chat!). You train for months. You wake up on race day and you take what is given. Regardless, you give your best.

Last year on the bus ride out to Hopkinton I was nervous, anxious, and uneasy. This year I made a special playlist of awesome pre-race songs to get me into the zone. Also, because this is the kind of thing I do, I decided to run the marathon in a pair of Saucony Kinvara’s. They are significantly lighter than my Asics 2150s and, seeing how I am a midfoot striker, I wouldn’t have a problem moving to a more minimalist shoe. If you don’t recall me talking about these new shoes it is because I bought them 8 days before the marathon. I had about 15 miles on those kicks before I laced them up for 26.2. Needless to say, the Redhead strongly opposed this decision, which is why I didn’t tell her I was going to race in them.

This year, several amazing things happened. First, by chance, I got to meet the guy who was on his 45th consecutive Boston Marathon—the longest active streak of any runner. He was extremely nice and very relaxed for the race. I guess 45 will give you some level of comfort. I also saw Ryan Hall doing sprint outs before I went into my coral.

At the starting line the excitement was unbelievable. Thousands of runners were there to go rock it. I was ready. And so was the angry sun. It is sometimes hard to explain to non-runners why running under a blazing sun is so difficult, even if the temps are mild. So, typically, I just show them the sunburn I received while running under the hot sun. I got burned again this year despite wearing a shirt and hat. The Redhead likewise got burned from spectating. My body was just not prepared or adapted to running in the 60s. Every long run (and all runs but one) were in 40 degrees or below. Most were below 30.

I trained to run at 10am. I did each long run at 10am. I was not trying to avoid the sun and noon heat. Only, here in Michigan, it just never hit spring. In fact, it snowed where we live on Monday.

But, back to the starting line, I took the first mile slow, a 7:15. Then I just relaxed and never looked at my watch again until the half. A 1:30ish half. Right on pace. But at mile 10, well before the maniac screams of Wellesley, I knew my body was working hard to keep my effort. At every water station I took one water to dump on my head, then another to drink as much of as possible. I easily consumed over 60ozs of water on the course. I was hydrated and, for the first marathon ever, didn’t suffer calf cramps. My only regret is not wrapping my body in Arctic-Ease.

Soon I was making the 90 degree turn that signals the start of the Newton Hills. I ran those true, but my pace was slowing. Still, I ran every step up those hills. Sadly, by mile 22, I felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest. I was overheating. I hit a water station and walked through. I did this a few more times over the last five miles. No matter what I tried, I just couldn’t get my body to cool down sufficiently enough to resume my desired pace. On a day where so many had amazing and record breaking times, this weather was too much for my pasty self.

But, I was still having a wonderful time. I never felt angry or frustrated. I knew I would be rounding onto Boylston soon and I would be giving the Redhead a huge kiss. After frantically looking for her on my ‘runner left’ (outside of Trader Joes) I told her how much I love her and I motored home for a 3:14:xx.

This is a good time. Although it is about 12 minutes slower than what I wanted. I do feel a bit like I had a bad race. Unlike Grand Rapids, there is almost no shade on the Boston Marathon course, so I couldn’t forestall the effects of the angry race day sun. I had a bad race but I still managed to run a good time. This only goes to show how prepared for this race I was.

So, another Boston; another ‘perfect’ race day. Another marathon race day where the sun shows up and cooks me like a lobster—and equally unwilling. This is the marathon. This is the reality of life. There is only so much you can control. But you can always control your outlook and attitude. I loved this Boston. I gave everything I had to try and reach my goal. I’m proud, even if I didn’t accomplish a specific time. There is no loss of joy because I was 12 minutes slower that I wanted. There are only wonderful memories of another trip with the Redhead. A game at Fenway in the freezing cold. Going to the Fine Arts Museum for the very first time—again. Walking in the rain to get cupcakes in Beacon Hill after date night. And, of course, a sexy kiss somewhere after mile 26—which was probably an additional six to seven minutes added to my time.

Lastly, back home in the D I walked over to the conveyer belt to grab the jumbo suitcase the Redhead and I shared during our trip. Alone, as all other passengers had already grabbed their belongings and departed, I noticed a Hansons/Brooks bag circling. Moments later Desiree and her husband walked up to grab their belongings. I told her how amazing she did and how proud everyone was of her. She then asked how my race was (I was sporting the marathon jacket). We talked for a few more minutes and then she was off. Sadly, I didn’t ask her if she got any of the free water they had at the finish line.

Nothing To Do But To Do It

2011-04-15T06:54:00.000-07:00

Meet the lazy Nothing-Doings,
All they do is stand around,
When it’s time for doing nothing,
Nothing-Doings can be found,
When it’s time for doing something,
You won’t find a single one,

Guess what Nothing-Doings! Our date is for later next week. For I have a few more days of doing things before I do the big something.

Goals: I want to average a sub 7:00/M average; although I would be happy if I managed to run a sub 3:05. Regardless, I will run with heart and joy.

The time is now to lock in and do something. There is always time for doing nothing later on…

Update

2011-04-14T14:23:00.000-07:00

Thanks everyone for the positive vibes. I'll post again before the race and give my goals...likely tomorrow. Also, thanks Sun Runner for continuing the poem...I was beginning to think nobody would notice the National Poetry Month theme I have going.

Howell

2011-04-12T17:37:00.000-07:00

I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical... Less than one week. Hummm. Every run last week was a fail. My tempo run was nowhere near close to my goal. Worse, my final long run was a disaster—a 9M run at marathon pace. The week before I did 13.4 miles at MP -4 seconds per mile and felt amazing. This week I was never into my run even though I was ahead of pace at mile 4 and even at mile 5. For some reason I was never emotionally involved in the run. At mile seven I should have been able to pick up the pace and get even. Instead I had my slowest mile. I ended the run at MP +3 per mile, or about 30 seconds behind my goal. Phfffffttttt. And here is the point. If you take any long run for granted, the odds you will be able to rally out of a poor run are slim. Which is strange, because there are several levels of emotional involvement to a run. Most times my emotional state is focused and with a slight edge. Sometimes I just find myself going through the motions. I'd like to tell you that I've never stepped to a starting line without being fully engaged emotionally; but I have. I try not to, but sometimes it happens. Even at big races. Does this leave me worried? Honestly. Not really. In less than a week I'll do everything I can to be emotionally fired up. So, when the jets fly over and the gun sounds, I'll be ready to stomp on the throat that is the Boston Marathon.

The Green Wheelbarrow

2011-04-04T17:16:00.000-07:00

so much depends
upon

how you decide to look at life. I for one have decided that being a State Farm Insurance representative has to be the worst job ever. Seriously. I used to believe SF employees were like all other insurance employees and worked a regular 9 to 5. Wrong. Apparently, SF has been bestowed with Genie like powers which it passes along to its authorized agents; thereby allowing its agents to grant wild whims for idiotic customers.

Seems you can make your automobile mishap into an 'anything I ever wanted or desired' fantasy. Want a sexier significant other and Bob Parker to relax in your new hot tub while LeBron James plays a tiny violin? Your SF agent can make it happen. Get fired from a job-- just go crash your can and you can magically have your SF agent appear and command them to eliminate your boss while also delivering the girl from apartment 4F into your arms. Yep, that isn't at all slightly frighting.

Worse. Can you even imagine the stress you would constantly live under if you were a SF agent? It is 2am and you are sound asleep; but somewhere a client gets into an accident. Poof, you are whooshed out of bed to...what else...work. Seems SF expects its employees to work around the clock. Seriously, I would be afraid to go to the bathroom; heaven forbid you are taking your time on a solid number two when *POOF* you are whooshed away. And there you are, god knows where, scrambling to get your pants up. Then you are expected to smile and begin assessing the damage.

Away on a family vacation; better hope every single one of your customers knows it. Otherwise you could be whisked away from your family and the beach only to find yourself in a crappy car being attacked by rabid buffalo. As an employment attorney, I strongly suggest you read the fine print before you become a SF agent.

Yep, taper has me a little on edge...

Running by Woods on a Windy Evening

2011-04-03T19:06:00.000-07:00

but miles to go before I sleep
but miles to go before I sleep

My training program schedules a 13M run two weeks before the real race. It is supposed to be a marathon pace run; basically a tune-up race. I love to find a half and make this a dress rehearsal. So, the Redhead and I headed down past woods that are lovely, dark, and deep; to participate in the Martian Invasion of Races. Below we are at the expo with a new friend.

At the expo, we met up with several other wonderful bloggers. I always love meeting other bloggers and getting all nerdy about running with them! Sadly, soon we were off for some dinner and then to the hotel. (I'll let the Redhead talk more about the blogger meet-ups while I try to focus on my race report).

On the morning of the race, I had to carry a few things for the Super Spectator. Yep, everything but a purse. The pre-race hours flew by as several fellow bloggers who were getting ready to run either the full, the 10K, or the half like me came over to say 'Hello.'

The weather was perfect, sunny and mid 30s. As usual, I was running a bit behind and I had to sneak into the throng of runners seconds before the start. BANG! I was off, running easy and doing everything I could to stay on pace. And I was on, staying within 5 seconds of my pace for each of the first six miles. But mile six was +5, and I made the major mistake of trying to pick up lost time in one mile. Causing mile 7 to be -15 seconds. I should have slowed down. I told myself to slow down. I didn't slow down. I went -12 for mile 8. Crap.

Worse, I began noticing my Garmin was sounding off early, way early for miles 7 and 8. Strange I thought, I was dead on for the first six. Humm... But I had to focus on trying to slow down. F--A--I--L. I went -5 for mile 9, -5 for mile 10, -5 for mile 11, +2 (better) for mile 12, and -7 for mile 13. This may not seem like a lot. But when you add them with much-too-fast miles 7 and 8, I was about 40 seconds fast for my race goal.

Now to pick back up on that Garmin discrepancy. As I got to mile 12 I was sure the mile markers were off by .3M. So, at 13.1M I hit the lap button to get an accurate 'half' time. Then finished the 'free mileage' they were so kind enough to secretly give us runners. When I was done, I asked other runners if they found the course was long, and they all said yes. (To be fair, very quickly after the race the race directors responded on their Facebook page by acknowledging the course was long and that times for the 13.1 will be based on your average pace.)

Despite being further than I expected, it was still a great race and I was pleased with the result.

Afterward, fellow bloggers joined to discuss running and to eat. While there I was able to meet several additional wonderful bloggers and I harassed Bill until he finally could take no more and left. Sorry Bill, you rock and I annoy people I like. Just ask the Redhead.

Finally, a special 'Thank You!' to the Redhead! She was an amazing fan and spectator even though we all know it was killing her to not be out there running with us. Don't worry, when you get better I'll watch you run as often as I can. I'll cheer for you even if you are doing a 4M training run on a treadmill.

Congrats....sorta

2011-03-27T11:24:00.000-07:00

The winner of my worst giveaway ever is Harold. The Redhead selected his name out of my dirty sweat-soaked baseball hat. It seems her hand was guided by the running gods after he protested how the lady bloggers have all the good giveaways. Sadly, he may have a point. If there was such a thing as a 'cup' for runners, I'd do a weekly giveaway to help even the Karmic score.

And now begins the taper. I generally eat healthy during my training, but during taper I am an extra good boy. No candy, no chips, no fries (American or French). More veggies and less donuts. It is the worst three weeks of my life. If it were not for Taco Bell Fridays, I may as well give up on life. Why do I do it? Simple: because I think it helps me on marathon day (and regardless of whether it does or does not physically--the moral boost is enough) and because of the Week of Gluttony that follows.

During my WoG after Grand Rapids, I sat down at an all-you-can-eat-pizza-buffet when it opened, and left when it closed. I even took a short nap between rounds. It was beautiful.

Yep, I'll do pretty much anything to fit into that summer bikini that is PRing at Boston in a little over three weeks.

Worst Giveaway Ever

2011-03-22T07:58:00.000-07:00

For reasons not really worth discussing right now, Adidas sent me a free shirt. It is a great shirt. I know, because I already have the exact one. Even the same color. So, I'm giving it away. If you would like a blue Mens medium Adidas shirt, just leave me a comment about the worst running gift you've ever received.*

I know. I know. A giveaway that excludes so many based on gender? Well, I'm sorry ladies, they didn't send me a free Womens shirt. But there has to be someone you know and love who may like this gift and therefore warrants your participation.

Winner will be randomly drawn out of a hat by the Redhead.

_____

Running related: this is my last week before taper begins. Which means this is my last long run of 20M+. I'm nervous. I'm planning on 23M. The last two 20M runs have been average (read, I fell apart during the last seven miles). I'd like to have a decent run before taper.

Additionally, I'm just not sure if I should go back to the 'Hills of Death' course, or run the equally challenging 'Tomato Hill' run. If you want, feel free to influence me. A vote for either course will count as an entry if you are lucky enough to have never received some running related piece of crap.

*To past winners of my giveaways. If you have the audacity to suggest that anything I sent you qualifies I will laugh and then send spoiled cookies to your home...I still have your address.

Terrible Tummy

2011-03-17T20:10:00.000-07:00

I was set to have an excellent 10M run. Goal was sub 70 min. I ended up doing 7.5 in 75 minutes.

The first three miles flew by and was enjoying the great spring temps. And yet, somewhere around mile two I noticed I wasn't focusing on my breathing or my tempo. Instead, I was focusing on one thing in particular: bowel lock-down. After three and a half amazing miles of running, I had to stop and walk or else very bad things were going to happen.

Longest four miles ever. The drawback of running in the wilderness. At one point my stomach growled to loudly that I scared a bear.

You may not wish to know such things...but all runners have to deal with this at some point. It is an inevitable as a Facts of Life Reunion.

A Long Way Gone

2011-03-16T18:19:00.000-07:00

Memoirs of a Runner

A rough long run. Long runs are not supposed to be easy. The past two have been difficult. First the HoD taught me a little lesson. This past weekend I made the mistake to trusting the weatherperson and what the weather was supposed to be in three hours, and not dress for what the weather actually was. If one of the cardinal rules of running is ‘dress for the actual weather,’ I sinned. It was such a perfect morning, sunny with little wind and high 30s. But the person on the TV swore the weather would get super cloudy and windy and start to rain/snow as the temps drop to the mid 20s before noon.

And even a really strong-paced long run means several hours outside. So, I overdressed. And Nature, that sweet but fickle temptress, kept the sun and highs temps around. Therefore, by mile 5 I was already deeply regretting my clothing choice. And, sadly, with a Smartwool undershirt and a long sleeve shirt on top, I felt layering down was not an option. Excuses:

Route does not take me within ½ mile of home until end
Would require stopping and *gasp* stopping Garmin to rearrange shirts

Defense of aforementioned excuses. It would have meant tying my Smartwool shirt about my waist and wearing it that way for 15 or so miles and it jostles up and down and up and down and up and down and up and down and…uggg so annoying. Or, it would mean taking said shirt off and sticking it into a mailbox or tying around a street sign with the hope that nobody wanders by and takes your rather expensive piece of running equipment—or wonders why there is a sweaty shirt in with their Saturday mail.

Also, I hate to stop my Garmin on a long run. If I have to use the bathroom on a long run, I don’t stop the Garmin. If I have to stop and wait for a long light, I typically don’t stop the Garmin. And, I would not have allowed myself to stop my Garmin for my poor wardrobe choices.
But the third excuse and driving force to not do anything about being too warm was Ego. Yep, Ego. Ego tells me not to stop the Garmin…because there is no ‘justifiable’ pause of your time during a race. And Ego says you should be a good enough runner to run through it. I’m sure Ego would say the same thing even if I went out on a 20M long run in the dog days of summer and wore full winter gear. Sadly, when Ego wins I rarely emerge victorious as well…I’m working on it.

So, I only have one 20M more long run left before Boston. Two more weeks until taper. And I’m feeling about the same did before several prior marathons…somewhat optimistic. Somewhat concerned. Too bad Ego is shouting at the top of his lungs about “Done deal” and “All good, where are the Girl Scout Cookies?”

Winner Wha?!?

2011-03-04T16:03:00.000-08:00

On Thursday the Chicago Marathon sold out. What does that mean? Well, other than the fact that 45,000 crazy people will be spitting, farting, burping, sweating, sending snot to the ground (and hopefully that is all)* through the great city of Chicago while it is an unseasonably warm 85 degrees.

It means that Tahoegirl over at got miles? was the winner of my 'how long till Chicago Marathon sells out' contest. The rules were closest without going over and her 672 hours guess was closest to the 741 actual sellout time. Tahoegirl is a cookie loving runner who was awesome enough to come out and support the Redhead and myself at our Grand Rapids races last October. But her awesomeness isn't why she won...or is it?!? And what did she win?

She got two Chocolate Chip Peanut Crunch Cliff Bars, two Chocolate Crunch Macrobars. An amphipod to keep her save during night runs, a pair of PhD Smartwool socks, and a Yankz shoelace replacement. Congrats again.

Also, to my fellow runner who I almost ran over at 8pm this evening. Do not wear all black and run at night. Rocking only long black pants, long black shirt, black hat, only two thin reflective lines on the bottom of his pants, and running in the street is a great way for someone to hit you with a car...even if they are a fellow runner and would feel really bad.

* Interesting story...I was going to use the word 'snoting' but I decided I would look it up before I did so. A quick Google search will reveal why I decided to rephrase.

Statistics is Just a Fancy Way to Lie II (Part B)

2011-02-27T13:42:00.000-08:00

Trends are promiscuous numbers being somewhat monogamous...

And just so you know, this may be a bit long as well...

Below, for all of the moments of glory or failure are numbers from my long runs for Bayshore 09, Chicago 09, Boston 10, Grand Rapids 10, and current training for Boston 11. I'll note a few things under each graph, but I save the more in depth discussions for last. And a special thanks to the Redhead who decided to take these from a scrap piece of paper and put then in a graph.

In Bayshore I used the Hal Higdon's Intermediate II marathon plan. The key idea for this training plan is the middle week tempo runs as well as the Saturday/Sunday tempo/long runs. I was attempting to BQ. Of note, I ran the Earth Day Marathon as part of a long run.

KEY: If there is a parentheses after a number, that is what I ran. So, if it says 12M (15.7) then I ran 15.7M (or a 25K race); but if the number is smaller than I ran the shorter distance (see week 10 of Chicago 09). An '*' indicates I ran with someone else at their pace.

What I did well: A 19M run at a sub 7 pace.

What I didn't do well: Too many races (4 5Ks) and runs longer than supposed to.

Short Race Day Recap: Calf cramps at mile 20 destroyed me...destroyed me something awful.

For Chicago 09 I used the FIRST training program. The FIRST uses a track workout, a tempo workout, and a long run, plus two training days (can be running, but must run at slow pace). Plus, it is a 16 week program.

What I did well: 24M run at a 7:06/M pace.

What I didn't do well: Stayed up late, consumed over 150oz of Mt. Dew night before week 9's 18M long run. Lots of Mt. Dew will cause you to throw plastic patio furniture and have a melt down.

Short Race Day Recap: Sat on pacers for race, felt great, and got a BQ.

This one is ugly. I've said it before...I did an awful job training. Number of runs in April before marathon...3. Still using FIRST...in theory at least.

What I did well: Did all of my long runs.

What I didn't do well: Track workouts, tempo runs, or any other type of mid-week running.

Short Race Day Recap: Knew I was undertrained, tried to enjoy and run comfortable, still had major calf cramps.

Used FIRST again, but modified mileage because: 1) I'd taken a ton of time off and was out of running shape; 2) I wanted to try back to back 20M weekends.

What I did well: Had faith in my training plan and kept getting in better running shape despite weeks of not seeing results. A 23M long run at a 7:02/M average.

What I didn't do well: Begin with a base of any kind, stay positive for the first few weeks.

Short Race Day Recap: Had a wonderful race for 20M, 8:09/M avg for last 10K not so hot, still managed a BQ.

So, what does it all mean. Really, I could point out some trends and other things, but the reality is this...the numbers don't really mean all that much. I know when I'm in good running shape, and when I'm not. I've had awful runs during training cycles that led to BQs, and amazing runs during a training cycle where I was trying to BQ but didn't.

One common factor I've had is, when not following a pacer as I did in Chicago 09, I tend to blow up around mile 20 regardless of training (see Bayshore 09, Boston 10, Grand Rapids 10). After Bayshore I began to add 22M, 23M, even 24M runs, but I still seem to blow up on race day. Suggestions or ideas?

Sure, the numbers can get all gooey and sexy and may cause Nitmos to need a moment, but guarantee a great race? Nope. And worrying about the numbers is wasted energy, which is why I try to focus on effort more than numbers. Remember, there are no 4 week marathon training plans. So accept that you will have good runs and bad runs over the course of 15 to 18 (or more) weeks of training.

This is not an easy process, but it should be a joyful one. And when I minimize my complainnig and bemoaning, I realize it is a wonderful journey.

Statistics is Just a Fancy Way to Lie II (Part A)

2011-02-27T06:02:00.000-08:00

Numbers....numbers...numbers...

I don't often delve too deep into the number on this blog. Honestly, I'm more interested in how we as runners approach long runs, races, running in general, and other philosophical or mental aspects of the sport. I also love the overwhelming support and encouragement bloggers share with one another (well...this guy and this guy have some issues to work out).

But, I won't pretend that I don't look at the numbers or think about them. I just know to never get too caught up in them. And the story below is illustrative as to why getting caught up in the numbers is a bad idea.*

Thus far this training cycle I've done three 20M+ runs, a 20M, a 22M, and a 22M. My average pace went 7:09/M, 7:14/M, 7:18/M. You could argue I'm trending downwards, notwithstanding the fact that I'm in better running shape than I was three weeks ago when I ran my 20M. So what accounts for this? A few things. First, my first 22M run was the weekend following my 20M. Back-to-back 20M runs is demanding, and a slight drop off is understandable. While this weekend I decided to return to the Lansing area and run my Hills of Death route (pictured below). So, despite being my slowest average, my 7:18/M pace is significantly better than I've ever run on that route (besting my 7:43/M top spot from last year).

And, yet, I don't feel overly optimistic about my HoD run because of the way I fell apart over the last seven miles. As you can see from the graph below, I started to really 'chunk-up' time during the last third of the run.

Still, at mile 20 I had a 7:15/M average; but the last two miles (also the first two miles) were unshoveled sidewalk lightly covered in a fresh layer of snow--the kind that conceals ice and matted down clumps of snow perfect for rolling an ankle. On my way out I nearly fell three times. By the time I returned to these miles I was unable to pick it up or even run fast enough to maintain the 7:40ish average I had for miles 17-20. Basically, the first time through the hills went well, but on the second round the hills ground me up like a piece of low quality processed meat.

SPAM...so good.**

In case you ever want to run this fun little 11M out/back, you just start at the MAC and head north on Hagadorn to Grand River. Take Grand River east to Park Lake Road. Follow Park Lake north until you get to a road called Coleman (you cannot miss Coleman because you look to the right and see three angry hills). Go east on Coleman until it dead ends, run west back on Coleman to Park Lake and turn north again. Take Park Lake north until you hit the I-69 ramps. Turn around, then enjoy the hills again. The elevation gain is 2523, the loss is 2546, with a net of -17. Below is the elevation chart for my first 22M. NOTE: This route involves lots of road running. Basically, there are no sidewalks on Park Lake or Coleman north of Lake Lansing. If you are not comfortable running on roads, this is not a route for you. As always, be safe out there.

Above is the elevation graph for my first 22M run around the greater Howell area. Elevation gain is 2178, elevation loss is 2190, net is - 12. Now, compare the above two routes to another 'difficult' route.

Elevation gain is 1129, loss is 1545, and the net is -416.

* In Part B of this post I'll talk in depth about trends form five different marathon training cycles.

** Down goes another potentially lucrative endorsement deal.

Unrunning

2011-02-21T19:06:00.000-08:00

A few things unrunning.

Bedtime Story

First of all, if you ever wanted to get a little insight about the daily lives and interactions between the Redhea d and myself, then enjoy this little recap. The identities have been removed to prevent the tarnishing of either party's reputation. One party unjustly claims that the other 'bigger' party is a cover hog. The other party adamantly protests and says there is no evidence to prove such an unjust act. The alleged aggrieved party insists the 'bigger' party is a brute and takes said covers purposefully. To which the 'bigger' party responds that control over the covers is war. Plain and simple...an all out war every night.

What Goes Around

Several weeks ago the powers that be decided that I would hit a patch of black ice and send my top-heavy SUV spinning at 70mph on a highway. The roads were clear up to that point, and it was at 5:30am. Fortunately, I put said SUV into the concrete wall (as oppose to going into the ditch and likely rolling like one of Ren and Stimpy's logs). Several kind strangers helped me that day. So, today, it was my turn to help out several strangers. Armed with nothing more than a new all-wheel-drive crossover and a shovel, I helped dig out four different cars at various points today. I did this because I believe I owe Karma something. Also, I'm using said kindness as a reason to not do a 5M maintenance run today.

Too Much What

During the lunch break at the company retreat, I went directly to the desert table to secure the best of what was offered. A coworker saw my triple chocolate cheesecake and said that there was too much chocolate. Believing ignorance must always be fought instantaneously and with the power of enlightenment, I informed her that saying such a thing is like saying someone gives you too much joy. I also told her I would accept her apology.

BAAseline Adjustments

2011-02-19T10:29:00.000-08:00

I know you know about what they did. I get that changes were necessary, but I have a difficult time with the idea of BQing but possibly being blocked out of the race. In theory, you could BQ every year, maybe by just one second, and you could never actually be accepted into the race. If you have a background in philosophy and history then such a thing poses quite the mental quandary, as it calls into question what it really means to BQ.

That said, it seems I need to make some adjustments to my training. No longer will training to run a 7:15/M average be acceptable (at least not until I get a little older). So, I adjusted my training times and goals. Which means my I-can't-wait-for-this-weekends-easy 13M run became a run at 7:00/M pace.

Before I get to the numbers, a quick discussion about expectations for a run and the actuality of a run. While sitting around yesterday and planning my run my goal was to start off with a 7:05 to 7:10 mile for the first two to three miles and then build up to a 7:00 pace until around mile 10, where I would try to pick up the pace to around a 6:45 to 6:50.

Yet, I make these plans knowing I'd be running a modestly hilly route. It is almost as if I make my running plan on the assumption that I'll be running a perfectly flat course. It wasn't until mile three (a 7:10 into 25mph winds) that I actually realized I'd need to modify said running plan to account for the miles into the wind and the hilly miles; then try to push hard during the flat miles and the miles with the wind at my back.

This meant a run with all kinds of crazy fluctuations (like a 6:46, 7:10, 6:55, 7:10). After mile 9 I was about 30 seconds slow. This meant turning 'it' on for the last four miles, going 6:39, 6:48, 6:50, and 6:35. These last four miles were enough to give me a 6:57/M average.

This just demonstrates the point that you can't always run the exact pace you want every mile (unless you are on the treadmill), but you can still get to your overall goal if you can accept the slower miles the terrain forces you into and pick up time on the miles that will give them to you.

Ah, running. So easy. So hard.

Also, seems I owe the Redhead something cotton.

A Bad Friday

2011-02-13T11:30:00.001-08:00

If you are lucky, sometimes in life you discover keen, if not profound, insights about yourself. Friday was such a day for me. Why? Because on Friday I realized my badassness is limited only by my dumbassness.

Profound eh?

And what event brought me to such an insight? The fact that I realized I was a week off on my training plan. I was supposed to go 10, 13, 15, 12, 18, 13, 18, 20, 22 (there are more, but these are the import numbers for the story). Friday I realized I had gone 10, 13, 15, 12, 18, 20. Seems I forgot about that step-down week of 13M and instead did my first 20M run early. Score a point for my dumbassness.

Therefore, on Friday evening I had to redesign my long run training plan, and I had to decide if I should run the 22M I had been preparing for all week long.

While attempting to rearrange my plan, I did desire to keep my slotted back-to-back 20M (or more) runs. This was something I introduced into my training last fall for Grand Rapids, scheduling a 20M then a 22M. I had an 8:07/M pace for my 20M and a 8:38/M average for a 2 mile shortened run of only 20M. What should be noted about the second 20M run back in August was that it came after getting a massive blister in the CRIM and that I pretty much had a runner out-of-my-mind experience where all comprehension of time was lost and I felt like I was running well past midnight even though it was closer to 10pm. The Redhead will tell you, I returned a different person than when I had left.

But I was feeling confident after my 7:10/M average for my first 20M run last week, and so I decided to go ahead and rearrange my schedule and run 22M on Saturday. I set out with a goal of averaging around 7:15/M pace, with the goal of no mile slower than a 7:30.

Despite dropping one 7:35 during mile 16, I averaged a 7:14/M pace. I’ll be doing that missed 13M next week, and my legs are eagerly looking forward to the step-down.

The Marketing of Boston (Not The Boston Market)

2011-02-13T09:05:00.000-08:00

I’ll admit, I may have hated on Adidas last year a bit for their Boston Marathon line. So this year I’ve been closely watching them. First, they offer—for the first time ever—the “Boston Qualifier” line. Clearly an attempt to capture the market of runners who managed to qualify but were not lucky enough to get a spot in the 2011 race.

Now, it should be noted that during the first few days the BQer clothing was available, Adidas also offered a green 2011 BM running singlet as well as green running shorts (sorry ladies, but I believe they were the men’s shorts). Almost immediately Adidas pulled the BM clothing, leaving only the BQer line.

In case you didn’t know, the original BQer clothing had purple all up in it. Then Adidas, likely because of poor sales or consumer complaints about how crappy the colors were, changed the colors to make them more consistent with Boston’s blues and yellows.

Because Adidas pulled the pictures, I’ve done my best to give you an idea of what they looked like. And if Adidas has a problem with my crappy Word Art skills they can just send me the originals and I’d be happy to put those pictures up. Oh, and don’t think I didn’t try calling Adidas immediately to let them know I was interested in ordering the removed items they had changed overnight. And don’t think I didn’t spend a good hour on the phone with various ‘customer service’ representatives as I tried and tried to see what had happened—me playing the distraught customer the entire time—or to see if I could still order the old items.

All my efforts were for not. Sure, I never really intended to order the stuff, but I wanted to try and figure out what had happened. The best I could get was that the purple colored items were no longer available. I insisted, but some must still exist. If I could order one last night, they surely they exist? “No, sorry.” was all I got.

That said, some other changes are shown below (new on top, old below).

Then, a little over a week ago, Adidas decided to release the first run of official BM 2011 clothing. This includes the “Official Marathon Jacket.” As you can see, Adidas decided to ‘Go Green” with their clothing line.

Now, a more detailed discussion about the “official” jacket. Last year it looked like this.

This year it looks like this.

Basically, the exact same jacket with the exception of the new colors. Or so I thought. First, I noticed that there was something strange about the packaging of my jacket. Can you spot the mistake? Hint: Boston is all about the right numbers.

No, I’m not talking about the hefty price of $95 buckers. Answer: the tag for the jacket is from the 2010 product line. Excellent job on that one Adidas. Not only did your customer services associates stonewall me from getting the ‘extinct purple’ products, but they seemed to be a little confused as to what year this is. But back to the price. $95 is a lot of money. And I get it; a BM jacket carries some clout amongst fellow runners. But tell a non-runner you spent that kind of money on a running jacket and they will stare at you the way a deer stares into headlights approaching at 75mph—that is, awestruck and slightly unable to comprehend.

So, when I spend that kind of money, I at least want a quality jacket. Last year’s was of sufficient quality. But this year’s jacket is not only as expensive, but friggen cheap a$$ Adidas decided to omit the embroidery and simply screen-print the lettering/logos. WFT!!!

I swear to God (or FSM), please allow Nike or Asics or some other company to replace Adidas as the clothing sponsor for this race.* Please. Pleeeeeaaasssseeee! And I’m not the only one who feels this way, just take a look at the comments people have left under the “Official Jacket.” Not happy folks out there Adidas.

*Heck, I’d even give Under Armor a chance.

A small story of redemption for Adidas. My favorite shirt I purchased from last year’s race was a yellow t-shirt that simply had a distressed light blue unicorn head and “26.2” underneath the picture. One day the Redhead and I were shopping at Meijer and a little girl in a cart saw my shirt. She then excitedly uttered: “Mommy! Mommy! I just saw a unicorn!” The mother, busily trying to find the correct box of Rice-a-Roni, mindless uttered, “I’m sure you did Honey.” As we walked away the little girl protested, “I did! I did!” To no avail I’m sure.

Long Run/5K Weekend

2011-02-06T15:29:00.000-08:00

The wonderful thing about the Super Bowl is that it is always on the same day as the Super Bowl 5K race in Lansing. This is a great race to test where your fitness level is early in the year...maybe.

Comparing your running fitness to the previous year's fitness level is never as straight forward as comparing the results of one 5K race to the same race the previous year. The truth is that 'where' you are on the island of Runland--located somewhere between your head and your heart--has a lot to do with where you think you are. If you think you are standing on Runland's cliffs of despair then you run like it. If you are somewhere in Runland's forest of underprepared and looking for a way out, then you know the only way out is hard work and dedication. And if you are in the great flatlands, the key to Runland's kingdom is yours.

Let me explain.

Last year at this time I had run a 22M long run the day before dropping a mid 19min 5K. The pace for the 22M run was 7:55/M. This weekend saw a 7:10/M average for my 20M long run and a 10 second slower 5K. Sure, it could be argued that I'm obviously running my long runs at a much higher rate; therefore, the slower 5K time is natural. Yes and no. Last week on my 18M I only managed a 7:55/M average. True, last weekend's long run was mere hours after 6 inches of snow and run mostly on unplowed country roads. But the better road conditions from a year ago are tempered by the fact that I was running the 'Hills of Death' route.

The times from this year and last year are not so dramatically different that one can simply declare a definative change. And yet, unquestioningly, I am at a much better place in Runland than I was this time last year. Even though my times are roughly comparable. And this is the big secret. It is more about where you believe you are than what the times are.

As for the race itself? Like last year, the first mile was on clear roads, but the next mile and a half were spent on disasterously mushy subdivision roads where you foot slid with every step you took. It was druing that part of the race that my legs, like last year, began to feel every step of the massive long run 24 hours prior. By the time I exited the subdivison I was ready for the race to be over. I just tried to pick up the pace a bit and grind my way to the finish where the Redhead and Jen B were there to cheer me on.

FFers & Chicago Marathon Contest

2011-01-31T19:19:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday the Redhead and I awoke to six inches of freshly descended snow. Hopes of an excellent 18M were buried. I do most of my long runs out on country roads to avoid the traffic. In the summer, such a plan is great. In the winter, such a plan can mean very difficult miles on poorly—if at all—plowed roads. Ugh. Now I can only hope for better conditions for my first 20M this weekend.

On Sunday we joined team Frosted Flakes for the Frostbite Marathon Relay. The Redhead, Kevin, Jennie, Riz, Shiz, Jessie, Tim and myself made up the 8 person (in case you were not counting) relay. I strongly suggest you read this for a more detailed recap.

I’ll just say that the idea of the race is great and my team members were awesome. I had a most excellent time as we moved from station to station and as we wildly cheered our fellow tu-tu rocking runners. Because I had the last leg, nature was calling while the team was out in the back woods of greater Holland. But I recalled the last exchange was by a market, and I was thinking I could score myself a nice comfy bathroom trip. Sadly, I had forgotten that Holland is the Michigan equivalent of the “Bible Belt” and that almost nothing is open on Sunday.

Desperate times lead to desperate actions. Which is why I ran to the church located behind the closed market and asked a rather concerned congregation where a guy wearing a tu-tu could find a bathroom. I was not immediately kicked out, but I wasn’t asked to stay for donuts either.

That notwithstanding, the best part of the race was finishing with all of my peeps. Well done!

--Contest--Contest--Contest

The Chicago Marathon goes on sale today. I bet it sells out in 24 hours. Anyone else wish to place a bet? If you guess the correct number of hours, or are the closest without going over, I’ll send you an awesome prize package full of awesome stuff. This should sound like an awesome offer—and this is because it is.

--More Random Crap--More Random Crap

A post about thoughts about running...

Angry Birds = Angry Runners

Angry Runners

2011-01-31T19:07:00.000-08:00

It has been sloppy outside as of late. My past several pace workouts have been done on slippery roads because, heaven forbid, the fine people of Howell ever decide to actually shovel their sidewalks. These runs have left me feeling like an angry bird rocketed out of a slingshot and barreling towards certain destruction. Sure, you may end up with enough 'three stars' to get yourself a golden egg, but it doesn’t always end so well for the birds sent heat-seeking towards little green pigs.

Maybe you can relate to those little angry birds in such a meaningful way that you end up ordering three of them. Maybe the Redhead doesn't like them as much as you do. But they are family now.

Yes, I made a home-made fort and slingshot using the Redhead's elastic exercise bands.

It’s a Process

2011-01-31T19:05:00.000-08:00

Training is a process. Sixteen weeks, eighteen weeks, or (insert number) weeks, it is a process. A training plan should push you both physically and mentally. No, this doesn’t mean doing a few logic questions after your long run. A good training program should ask you to do something just outside what you can do with any sense of comfort. Every training schedule I’ve ever done has been marked with several workouts that fell short of the expectations. It is these fails that lead me to the point of this post.

I always have to remember, it should be more about perspective than perfection. And I haven’t always had a lot of perspective. Way back when, I used to be insanely competitive. Once, a gathering of friends at a local park decided to take advantage of the beautiful spring day by playing some volleyball. Now, I am by no means an amazing v-ball player, but I can hold my own. Sadly, my desire to win found me trying to hit every ball that went over the net. Worse, I was so frustrated at my friend that I drew a small square in the sand and told her not to leave it—ever!!! She cried. I yelled some more because crying never helps. We still lost. All over a ‘fun’ game amongst friends. This is what a total lack of perspective can do.

Worse, it took me years more to tear my focus on perfection away enough to allow for a little perspective. But, perspective is a wonderful gift. It allows you to stretch a meaningful smile as you walk away after a difficult run which finds you shot of your goal. It helps you accept that times are slower in snow—always—even when efforts seems like it is more.

After five weeks of training, I do not have a single week which is not adorned with red. Alas, perspective says this is alright. I shouldn’t plan on being in marathon shape at week six, or there would be more six week marathon training plans.

Conditions alter times, perspective alters your ability to accept such times. So, before you find yourself berating yourself, I hope a little perspective helps you.

As Flexible As

2011-01-09T16:42:00.000-08:00

this guy?!?
The most important element to a successful marathon is flexibility in your training. And I'm not talking about the ability to bend it like Beckham, or like the contortionist below.

No, I'm talking about the ability to have some 'give' in your training plan. Sure, when some people get their nice and new training plan, all shiny and full of perfect expectations, we promise we will be so utterly devoted to it that it would make a high school girl think we were being a little clingy. We stay up late thinking of ways we will please our new little training plans and how this time things are going to be different.

But, honestly, things won't be different. You are the same lazy slob as last time and if your old training plan ever gets your new training plan's phone number she'd set her straight. Wait...that isn't quite what I wanted to talk about.

Back to training. So, you might wake up on a Tuesday morning and grab all of your workout stuff and plan on doing your track workout later that evening when you car hits black ice and spins on the highway. Then maybe your car decides to hit a wall of concrete and is completely destroyed. Given the propensity of SUV's to do cartwheels, I was glad all that happened was my vehicle smashing into the highway barrier. But, Tuesday's track workout was off the books.

Alas, I was--amazingly--uninjured. And I just pushed that silly little track workout to Wednesday. Yeah, that made my pace workout on Thursday night extremely difficult, and I bailed on the last two miles of it. But I was flexible about it.

If you can't allow for a little flexibility in your training schedule, you are sunk. Training for Grand Rapids I rolled an ankle and had to eat a long run. But the ability to make some adjustment and to trust in both your prior training, and your remaining training, is unquestionably the most important trait necessary to survive the difficulty of training over the course of four months.

So stay bendy my friends.

So it began...or begins

2010-12-28T19:34:00.001-08:00

I went to law school because I hate numbers. And yet, I obsess about numbers when it comes to running. Perhaps I went to law school because, as my college calculus professor once told me, "Son, there are three types of mathematicians: those who can add and those who cannot. Can you figure out where you belong?"

That said, I should also tell you that I have yet to sit down and plan my marathon training plan for Boston. I know, I'm a slacker. What this means is that, for some reason, I failed to start my marathon training on time. Instead of diligently beginning week one last week, I did my first few runs in about a month last week...and then I realized I was a week behind. When the Redhead shared her fear about this, I double and triple checked my calendar and hung my head in shame.

Therefore, somewhat panicked, I diligently began week two of training on Monday. And that meant that I, unlike last year, did my track workout by going to MSU's Jenison Field House. Hummm....

If you think running on a track sucks. Then just try to imagine how much it sucks to run on a track half as small and in an environment so dry your lungs feel like they are inhaling fire on your warm-up laps. But, after my Boston failure last year, I'm going to stick it out no matter what. And so I did.

The mini-track had about a dozen of the MSU's Men's Track team partaking in an unofficial practice. Yep, shirtless studs with six-packs popping were also laping me around the track. It was great because it was meat-tastic and because it only served to offend my pride to force me to run faster.

Then, last night I decided to sit down and write out my schedule. Which is when, looking at a calendar and not in a panic, I realized that I was actually in my first week of marathon training. Counting sucks.

A few pictures of the mini-track below:

The BQ Divide

2010-12-21T15:34:00.000-08:00

Seems that selling out in eight hours alerted the fine people at BAA about a new marketing opportunity. And the folks over at Adidas lost no time in taking advantage of this new opportunity. Last week I noticed Adidas is not only selling Boston Marathon merchandise, including the standard 2011 Boston Marathon gear, but a new version of the Boston line…the Boston Marathon Qualifier.

Yep, if you were one of the unfortunate who were jammed out of an opportunity to run Boston 2011 (and not one of the lucky fall BQers who can try again in 2012 using their fall 2010 time), then you can at least let the world know you are a BQer, even if you didn’t actually run the race.

see: Boston Marathon Qualifier

Now, this brings up a few interesting questions that get at the heart of runner's superstition. The Redhead is a firm believer that a runner should never wear the 'race shirt' before the race. Therefore, any of you who wear the 'race shirt' during the actual race are offensive to the Redhead. Hay, it's her belief system.

So, does this new line run afoul of such running lore? Are the running gods to be offended?

I'll admit I carry some runner superstition. I don't wear the running shirt before I run the race, but I'm fine with wearing a 'race shirt' even if I didn't run it that year. This is proven by my purchase of the 2010 Capital City River Run race shirt. Didn't run it this year, but I loved the new shirt and got it on sale. Score. The Redhead thinks doing so is bad runner mojo.

I'm sure several runners would never dream of buying Boston Marathon apparel if they didn't run the actual race, but those same runners may be willing to wear the BM Qualifier gear. At least, that is what Adidas is banking on.

And, given the prestige of the race, and the likely notion that all future Boston Marathons will be equally difficult to obtain a spot in, this new line will cover the gap of BQers who are too scared to buy actual BM merchandise. Even though this is a clear attempt by Adidas to exploit—for a profit—those runners screwed out of the chance to run the race they worked so hard to qualify for, it keeps those runners from possibly feeling like posers while recognizing their accomplishment.

Publish Post

Jingle Belle 5K Saga

2010-12-13T01:54:00.000-08:00

I wouldn't go so far as to say we have a winter wonderland here in Michigan, but the snow is falling. Fortunately, for the Redhead and a few of her friends, the snow waited until after the Jingle Belle 5K.

I had been under the impression that this was my first time spectating the Redhead, but she was kind enough to remind me that I did spectate her at the Boston 5K. True. But that was more just a I-just-happened-to-be-there spectate than an actual I made signs and such spectate. Moreover, after she was kind enough to be my number one superfan whilst she was injured, I wanted to return the favor and spectate right.

Which means, I got to make a few signs. And, because the Redhead was only running this 5K for fun, I knew she would be able to appreciate my signage while out on the course. I selected four spots to cheer her on, and made four signs for support.

Such things as "Sure, invite Belle, but no Elle?!?"* and "Use Those Sexy Getaway Sticks" were there to greet her (check out her post to see the other two signs, including a rather racy one). While on the course I shouted such encouraging things as "Santa loves sweaty runners!" And "This is probably enough to get off of the naughty list, well not you (selecting a random runner and pointing her out)!" And "Hurry up will you, I'm freezing my butt off out here."

After the race, I presented the Redhead and her friends with a victory bag containing a instant hand warmer, a pedicure set, and some Christmas chocolates. I was glad to be out there and support the Redhead like she has done for me so many times before.

------------

What I'd like to do now is address an unsettling situation: the existence of a female only event without the existence of a male counterpart. Therefore, I have decided to organize my own 5K. I've helped on enough local race committees to know how to make this happen. And, I'm thinking the Christmas Blue Balls 5K will be an excellent male only event. Details of this event will be posted as the year progress, but I'm thinking huge. Maybe Old Spice, Car and Driver, and Maxim. I'm also going to have to get Chuck Norris to make a special appearance.**

* Yep, a Christmas pun.

** So, does anyone have an 'in' with Chuck?

Winner Winner Subway Dinner!!!

2010-11-16T15:48:00.000-08:00

I know it is late, but work and moving to a new place with the Redhead can't wait. That said, congrats to Georgia Snail for the perfect guess of 5:13. Some readers may argue that such a perfect guess was possibly arranged, but I'm not really worried about it.

And what does he get? Well, an Amphipod reflective vest. Best be safe when it gets dark early. Also, a pair of Smartwool PhD running socks. Also, two packages of Sharkies organic energy sports chews and a Chocolate Chip Peanut Crunch Clif Bar. Now is that awesome or what?

Congrats again to Georgia Snail. An excellent guess. So, email me to collect your prizes.

This Weekend

2010-11-03T06:36:00.000-07:00

So, everyone knows that this weekend is the NYC Marathon. Everyone is asking the same question. No, not if Meb will repeat; but how fast will Jared run?

My guess...4:42.

If you guess correctly, down to the minute. I'll send you a wonderful prize. If two people guess the same time,* I'll just randomly draw the winner's name from a Asics 2150. Unused 2150 that is.

*Really! Really?!? You guessed the same time as someone above you. I mean, you just had to have the time as well? Couldn't go up or down one minute eh? I mean, this isn't a blind contest, you can see every previous guess. No desire to make this very easy for me? Oh well, this is America, and I won't rain on your parade.

Hell-o-ween Race Recap

2010-10-31T18:25:00.001-07:00

I had a goal of racing a 10K this year and trying to get a sub 40min time. Typically I run the Turkey Trot 10K down in Detroit. Often I run with a family member or more, but I was thinking of racing it this year. Unfortunately, the Redhead and I will be out of town and therefore I'm unable to race the TT 10K.

Now the Redhead had been planning on running the one-time-only Run Thru Hell on Halloween 5K & 10K for a month or so. And she, Sun Runner, and the Engineer made a plan to do this race in Halloween get-up. Meanwhile I had been looking around for a local 10K sometime after Grand Rapids. It was only earlier on this week that I decided to join them for this particular 10K; that is, I had originally wanted to avoid this race because of the many vicious hills.

Now, because everyone in the group would be dressing up, I needed a costume. Fortunately for me, the Universe conspired and I found the greatest shirt in the world.

Aptly named "The Duel." This shirt represents everything that is awesome in this world. I mean, it has two dueling dragons and two heroic warriors riding said dragons...all engaged in a fantastic battle of good and evil. I saw that shirt, and I knew I had to have it.

My costume was set; I was a poorly adjusted adult male living in his mother's basement and who spends all of his time playing WoW. Aside from his extreme social awkwardness, he has an estimated Second Life worth of about $2,000. He is only running because his mother insisted he get some fresh air and make friend IRL. If he didn't finish the 10K, he would have to start paying for the family Internet. (It is important to note that once in character, I maintained said character for the duration of the event.)

With just over 3,000 runners, I left the crew and made my way up near the starting line. The first mile was a crazy jumble of running around a crowded dirt country road. I noticed my watch beeped before I had crossed the first mile marker. At that point I thought, best to just not look at my Garmin this race.

After the 5K and 10K split, I just focused on trying to pick off as many runners as I could. I dug deep and surged on the up-hills while pushing on the down-hills. After the turn-around, I began to look for the Redhead. Not long afterwards I saw the lovely Daphne running towards me.

After mile 4 I realized I hated my glasses, and they weren't even real. However, I was glad I was close to done, and I simply tried to focus on finishing the race. When I finished, I was surprised--but quite happy--to notice I had managed a sub 40min race.

Most importantly, my mom won't force me to pay for my basement internet.

Crazy is as Crazy Does

2010-10-26T10:15:00.000-07:00

Before I begin to bother all of my friends/relatives and start to ask them embarrassing questions, I need a little help checking my sanity. I seem to have lost an orange Nike Chicago Marathon half-zip running shirt. It was from 2008 or 2009, I can't recall.

I can't seem to find it. And, in all honestly, I can't seem to find evidence on the web that it even existed. If is isn't on the web, could it possibly have existed? Am I crazy?* Did it exist, or was it just a dream about things I love (orange and the Chicago Marathon)?

If you have seen it--then give it back. If you have your own or know what I'm talking about and just want to help me sleep better at night, please confirm that it did exist.

Love Always,

Spike

* The Redhead is not allowed to comment on this. Recently I woke her up in the middle of the night as I was laughing hysterically--in my sleep. What?!? It is not my fault I very very funny.

Grand Rapids Race Recap

2010-10-18T08:29:00.000-07:00

To tell this story, a short recap about my training is necessary. I began this training session rather out of shape; but having taken well needed rest. The break allowed some lingering injuries to heal, but it meant my first real training run was a 10K disaster--an 8:56/M average. Compare that to the 6:36/M average I had for the same course the previous year. The July 4th 10K is significant also because it was occurred on a hot, sunny, and mostly unshaded course. Why do those three things matter? See this or this to remind you.

Alas, as the many hot and muggy summer days moved along, I kept diligent to my training schedule and maintained a healthier diet. Soon my times were improving, and the +25 pounds began to drop. I was returning to my racing form. Yet, it wasn't until some quality runs in August that I began to think I would be able to take a shot at another BQ attempt. When my last training run resulted in a 23Mer at a 7:01/M average, I felt a PR could be in the making.

But, I've had enough runs--several marathons included--where things didn't go well. Calf cramps have been an issues in the past, but I hadn't dealt with one this training cycle. Which is why I got extremely nervous when I woke up early Saturday morning with a terrible calf cramp. No &$!@ way! Now? Really! Needless to say, my confidence was a little shaken.

Later that day, the Redhead, my sister Emma, and my cuz LeBrian and I all went to the expo to get our bibs and do a little spending. Sadly, we failed to meet up with Sun Runner. Bibs and new gear in hand, we settled in for an early night.

Race morning found the temps cool, but the weather predicted the temps to rise quickly. Furthermore, not a cloud in the sky. Exactly the kind of weather report that calls for trouble for me and my calfs.*

My goal was to hit 7 minute miles +/- 5 seconds. After scrambling to the starting line, like always, the gun sounded and we were off. The first four miles were right on target. But mile 5 was a 6:30. Not a great idea. Regardless, I nailed the half at a 1:30. Miles 10 through the half are mostly through a park. In the part I remember feeling that the sun was beginning to take a slight toll.

After the half, the sun was full in the sky and blazing down on me. I tried to keep myself emotionally focused on miles 15-20, but by mile 18 things were falling apart. I began posting miles above the 7:15 pace. My last 8 miles went 7:17, 7:13, 7:31, 7:35, 8:13, 8:04, 8:52, 8:18, 7:54.

The times do not tell the story. Before mile 22 my left calf, which had been acting up after mile 20, snapped. I had to stop and stretch it. I began to run again but it was acting up with every step. I felt the race slipping away. After I passed mile 23 I saw a sign that read "Your next 5K will be your best 5K." I said some very sarcastic and slightly rude things to that sign. I had already began that negative thinking, the kind that infiltrates quickly and can become so consuming and overbearing. At mile 23 I had given up on a PR, another BQ, or even finishing the race strong.

Just after mile 23, I hit an aid station. And I gave up. I just stopped running and began to walk. Not a 'walk' to walk through the aid station, but a 'walk' to walk the remainder of the race. My calfs were awful, and I looked like a 6'1" salt-lick. I was in the darkest place any runner can go, I was in the center of doubt and dispair--located in my mind and pressing hard on my soul.

One volunteer was offering gummy bears. As I approached, and as he offered me the sweet and friendly gummy delights, I gave him a look of death. Couldn't he see, I was walking. Wasn't it obvious, I had given up.

Then I began to hear the volunteers. They kept telling me: I had it; I was doing great! As I slowly passed the stranger offering candy, he said: "Just start running again. It will be alright." I finished my water and continued to walk as I grabbed a Gatorade. But the encouragement of the volunteers and the supporters penetrated. One ray of hope pierced the dark center of my running existence, and I started to run again. I didn't look at my watch. It didn't feel like I was going fast; in fact it felt like I was dragging two blocks of concrete and not my feet. But I was running. One ray of hope, and I was running again. All previous goals became meaningless. The victory lay in the resumption of my running. I won my race three miles ahead of schedule.

It wasn't until I saw I had about 9 minutes and 1.2M to go that I thought I could still make a BQ. In the back of my mind I could recall previous disasters. Previous marathons where I lost hope and allowed the cramps to end a run. Previous marathons where the sun roasting my skull became too much. All of those fails allowed me to dig deep and to find a place I had never found before in a marathon. Soon I saw the Redhead and my family wildly cheering me on. I knew that I didn't have a crazy strong finish, but I also knew I could just stay steady and requalify.

Now, don't get me wrong, BQing again is a big deal to me. For reasons I haven't fully investigated I passionately wanted to run another BQ time. And I'm very excited I did. But, for me, the lasting lesson from the Grand Rapids Marathon was the victory over myself. The volunteers and supporters gave me hope when I had none. I could have fought it. I didn't. I embraced it, and I allowed it to carry one foot in front of the other.

* I know, the temps were nothing compared to what you Chicago runners had to deal with last week; but I ran Chicago 08, so I've been through that. I know your pain.

Between Two Lines

2010-10-17T04:07:00.000-07:00

Never, not once, was there an apology
uttered from the pavement, not after
uncountable steps, not one groan of
remorse rebounded up,

nor was there a hint of shame from the rain
that refused to fall, that hung as a wall
of humidity; not a sound when
you stood, arms on your waist, slightly
bent over, and felt the rain pounding
an already soaked body; not even a
whisper of an apology from the wind,

and invisible miles passed without
compassion, miles that onlooking cars
could not see how many elapsed, how fast,
how far remained, miles that simply
pilled up like stones of a monument,

and foundations formed during
predawn hours, laid silently and
often sleepily, spoke no encouraging
words; while a muted sun, with all of its
various faces, offered nothing as it burned
dispassionately down upon your
waning body,

all of this, you endured, for today,
because today you run a marathon, and you
shall use the gift presented today…

to bare your soul, without apology,
between two lines.

Find Your Inner Calm

2010-10-14T20:06:00.000-07:00

As I was mindlessly eating a Pop-Tart and some yogurt before my last long run, I began to ponder a bit about my pre-run routine. All of my long runs begin from one of two places. Occasionally there is a third option, which I did not utilize this training session. When you have started your long runs from the same place your routine becomes ingrained. This is a good thing.

The pre-run ritual clams us in ways subliminal and obvious. This calm carries over (or at least should) to the start of our run. But race day is totally different. The normalcy is out the window the moment your alarm sounds. Which is why one of the best skills I learned in high school is the ability to find my own little center of calm when surrounded by thousands of other runners. Panicking runners. Nervous runners. Runners nervous about the bathroom. Chatting and laughing runners. Runners returning to the bathroom for a second or third time. Runners warming up. Runners standing still.

All of this distraction and borderline manic behavior can be quite unsettling. It is easy to get caught up in the emotional turbulence that exists before a marathon. To avoid this, I find a spot, it doesn’t have to be anything special, and I tune the world out. They are not competitors, but peers. We are all racing against ourselves. I just cycle through the same stretches I always do. I smile and I laugh a bit at whatever random thought happens across my mind. And I just refuse to be anything other than calm.

It is this calmness that makes it easy for me to simply stroll up into the corral. So, I wish you all great peace and calm before you begin your next race; however it is you find it.

Taper Myths*

2010-10-08T02:26:00.000-07:00

Myth # 1: Your body will feel great. Where does this myth come from? Mostly, wishful thinking. Even seasoned marathoners fall victim to this myth until they start to feel subtle or new aches and pains. The truth, you body is healing--not healed.

Myth # 2: You will feel good on all of your taper runs. Where does this myth come from? The idea that after your last long run during the training schedule your body knows it is at taper and therefore, because you leg muscles somehow know that you will be decreasing your mileage, they automatically feel better. This happens to me every time. I use a three week taper (going down from 23M to 13M to 9M and then 26.2M). And still, even after my 13M long run I have difficult runs during the week. I'm not saying I'm going crazy with my mid-week runs. Nope, doing the same thing I always do. But still, sometimes they suck. The truth is that this happens all the time during my training. But I never notice or care because I'm not on taper. I get taper blindness and forget how taxing training is on my body.

Myth # 3: Let me know one you have noticed.

*At least, as experienced by me.

Things of Fall II

2010-10-04T17:36:00.000-07:00

Or things I learned the hard way...*

I'd call this a race report, but I don't use the half (two weeks out from a marathon) as a race, but more a marathon practice run. So, I'll just give you a few of my observations about the event and my practice run.

To begin, a few things I of note. What I like about the race is that the elevation somewhat resembles that of a rather well known marathon held out East.

Note the down first half, up second half, and down (mostly) from there.

The web page said the start time was 8:00am. As I was getting ready, they made an announcement that the half starts at 8:15. Soooooo, pause the warm-up and try to keep the Redhead warm.** Now, pausing your warm-up sucks, but it is even worse when the pre-race music is seriously the soundtrack to the worst wedding ever. The dance floor was empty if you run with the comparison. I was waiting for them to play the Chicken Dance or the Hokey Pokey.

But bad pre-race music is nothing compared to a race with about 4,000 people and about 25 porta-potties. I was honestly going to go 'bear' in the woods. I mean, I went deep into the nearby woods to try and get some privacy. I was mentally preparing myself to break new ground in my running career when I saw a deer. No joke, a deer. He paused, looked up at me, and said: "Really? How would you feel if I walked into your living room and dropped a duese?" Good point. I walked out defeated and stepped into the long long line.

This resulted in barely getting to the starting line before the 8:15am start. See me sneaking in? Look for the red arrow below.

Once the race began, I used the downhill miles to build up a little time, as the uphill miles awaited. After mile ten, I dropped the hammer to bring in a strong finish.

Yeah, I passed my fellow Boston Marathoner. I close like a cheetah.

Ah, but what did I learn the hard way? I learned that failure to apply Body Glide before a half is a huge mistake. I mean, how do you forget something as basic as Body Glide?

* If I am being honest I should also include this information, stashed away under the category of "Mistakes You Should Only Make Once." The proper order is Icy Hot, wash hands, use restroom and not Icy Hot, restroom, wash hands. Failure to follow the aforementioned instructions will lead to very terrible results.

**The Redhead was kind enough to wake up uber early and come along to cheer me on; plus take a few action shots. Her support, as always, was greatly appreciated.

Things of Fall

2010-10-01T14:06:00.000-07:00

Things I should know by now...but have yet to find out.

Look at the course map for my half on Sunday. When I casually brought this up, the Redhead said that she has already looked at it and has talked to a few runners who say it is a difficult course. Such things happen often.

Look at the course map for the GR Marathon.

Pick out my marathon outfit. Pick out my marathon playlist. Decide which shoes I'll be running in. And because I use the half has a pre-marathon test run, I better get going on these things.*

Which reminds me. This marathon I am going to make the last few miles special by rocking out to some of the best songs from the 80s. So, aside from "We Built This City" by Jefferson Airplane and "St. Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion)" by John Parr, what shongs should I include?

*Except for the playlist, which I always save until the week of. I go out and get coffee and hang with college kids and make my marathon playlist. Also,I better get going on my song/no-song order. I'm thinknig 4M off, 4M on, 4M off, 4M on, 2M off, 2M on, 1M off, 2M on, 1M off, 2.2M on.

The Last 23

2010-09-27T02:48:00.000-07:00

This weekend I had to work Saturday. Which I wouldn't normally mind but for the fact that I had signed up to run the Grand Rapids Marathon course preview 20M run. Whatevs, I still got the t-shirt (more on how that happened later).

Therefore, I had to push my last 20M+ run to Sunday morning. Because the Redhead's injury pulled her out of the Capital City River Run Half, I could avoid the awkward problem of missing her run so I could do mine--whew, that could have been a sticky situation. Instead, while I started my run, she joined a few of her Daily Mile friends on their bikes so they could cheer a few runners on.

Now, I've been engaged in an excellent offline conversation with Adam about the different approaches to training for a BQ. Essentially discussing whether one should do any, some, or all of your long runs at about marathon pace (mp) or +15 sec at most. I'm from the school of thought that says, running 10M, 13M, or even 15M at mp is a good thing; but there still remains an additional 11M at that pace. I believe the body benefits from knowing what it feels like to run 20M at mp. Because for me, running 15M at a BQ pace (7:15/M) is easy. But the next 5M can pose problems, and things can fall apart quickly.

Moreover, even if you do manage to fight through miles 15-20, you still have another six.* All of which is why I try to make about 45% of my longs runs at mp or faster.** Asking your body to run a pace faster than you have trained for, longer than any of your training runs, leaves a lot of room things to go wrong.

That said, I was able to take advantage of a great running day and crank-out the best run of the season thus far, a 23M run at a 7:01 pace. I even spent a little time on the River Run Half course, as my mile 11 aligned with the Half's mile 4; but I was there earlier than the racers, so I just said 'Hello' to the volunteers and thanked them for volunteering.***

Even though I was unable to get a course preview for the GR Marathon, my sister Emma (who lives in GR) did participate. She is training for her first marathon--although she is an accomplished runner and has completed the 25K distance several times. Emma had an amazing run and was also kind enough to pick up my t-shirt. Now, if I can only convince her to do a guest post.****

Which leaves only one last things to say...let the taper begin.

* I should note that another thing I have learned from personal experience is that you can feel like a rock star at mile 20 and swearing in front of small impressionable children at mile 22. Plus, if you have a bad race during your marathon, you just can't (typically) give it another shot two or three weeks later. As oppose to a bad 5K, where you can give it another go two weeks later with little or no lingering effects.

** I should also note that the Redhead and her coach (as well as many other more accomplished runners) do not subscribe to this training belief.

***One volunteer, after I thanked her, smiled and told me I was running the wrong way.

****When broached with the idea of a guest post, she initially refused simply because she didn't want to be too closely associated with my disgusting feet. Well I'm soooo sorry my feet disgust you. But since we are of the same genetic makeup, I strongly suggest you take a hard look at your feet before you get all judgmental on mine.

Ice Cream Social Time Y'All

2010-09-22T13:11:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I pushed my workout from the am to the pm because I'm lazy...and I love sleep. So I started my 10 x 400m track workout a little after 7pm. Around here that means it was going to get dark during the workout.

When I arrived at the local track, the high school band was practicing in the parking lot. Nothing new. But there was a group of parents outside the stadium setting up tables. After my first 6 laps it was dark and the band had stopped. Soon band kids (bandies) were milling around and eating ice cream.* Me, I was working hard on intervals 7 and 8.

Then the parents began to sit in the stands as the kids began walking onto the field. Best of all, the lights kicked on. Now, it is very rare you get to run on a track under the lights. That is simply something reserved for college runners and pros. And I had an audience which had nothing better do watch while the bandies took their time getting into formation.

So of course my last two laps were my fastest.

* As I left, I was offered some delicious ice cream. Sadly, I was having gi issues that made enjoying such a delectable treat impossible.

Not my track, but you get the idea.

Cali and Jet Leg and a Long Run

2010-09-19T14:54:00.000-07:00

Last week I was amongst the Redwoods for a work conference. This was the kind of work conference where they actually expected us to work...lots. So, sadly, I was unable to meet up with a few runners/bloggers while I was out there.

I had to accomplish two runs out there, a 5M easy run and a 10M tempo run. So I awoke early on Wednesday and made my way from our resort to the beach, down one very steep hill. And it was long as well. The plus side is that it took me to the beach where I could enjoy some flat running.

I used this same route (just adding more beach running) for my tempo run as well. I think 10M tempo runs are big deals. I try to run them faster than marathon pace (mp) by about 15 sec/M. My last 10M tempo run was a disaster (as it fell only a few days after my 10M CRIM race). So I wanted this to be an excellent run. And hills increase the difficulty of running for time.

Regardless, I just planned on banking time the first 7M (I mean, I do have to go down that monster hill before I have to go back up it) and then hope the monster hill will equal me out.
Which is exactly what I did for the first 7M. Plus, because I couldn't resist myself, I did throw up my hands and yell "Yeeeeeeeeeee!!!!" as I went down the hill because the sensation was a little like a roller coaster.

After running up the hill, I was right on pace, and I buried the pace the last two. Tempo run done.

I arrived back home at 1:30am Saturday morning after flying most of Friday, and there was no way I was going to attempt to do my 14M long run that morning as the Redhead and I had a little catching up to do. I got up at 5:10am regardless to help set up for the MSU v ND tailgate. After staying up past midnight to see MSU prevail in OT, I slept in and didn't start my long run until about 10am. After my tempo run, and tons of travel, and a long day, I was not emotionally involved in my run. I didn't want to do it. I was only engaged during miles 7 and 8, and I was begging myself to keep focused through 10. At 10, I just wanted to hold on and not flop a bad mile. Somehow I managed to do both.

And, for your occuliar pleasure, below are a few pictures I took of the monster hill, which I nicknamed the Del Mar Download (in honor of nearby Silicon Valley).

But I did get to run along this, just like the runners in the picture below.

Going back to Cali

2010-09-14T23:08:00.000-07:00

Sadly, I had to leave the Redhead for a few days for work reasons. The good news is that I get to go to Cali for the next few days. I'm staying in Aptos and looking out at the beautiful Pacific Ocean (well, Monterery Bay to be specific).

Guess what, there are hills...everywhere. So my 10M pace run should be interesting on Thursday.

I know, life is sooo hard. Please feel sorry for me.

Gone with (and then Into) the Wind

2010-09-09T18:50:00.000-07:00

I know I know I know, it's no 'hurricane like winds,' but a Midwest 'wind advisory' is no fun. I slept in on Tuesday, thereby pushing my track workout to the evening. I did this ~~because I'm lazy~~ in an attempt to avoid the nasty winds that were blowing from Atlanta to Alpena.

What made this wind even worse is that it was a 'gusting' wind. Which is runner code for 'always blowing when you are running head-on and always easing up when at your back.' I could see waves in the grass the wind was whipping so wickedly. But I nonetheless began rounding the track despite the wind's attempt to whisk me and Tara through Georgia.

And even though it didn't help, I did give the wind a two finger salute each time I faced it for a 100M straightaway. Childish, yes. But frankly my dears...you get the point. Because, in the end, even if you perfectly split time spent going headlong into the wind and with it at your back, you always lose more going into--than you gain going with--the wind.

Finally, I wanted to give a massive thanks to the Redhead for biking along with me on my 14M in FL this past weekend. She assured me I was very lucky to get a near perfect morning--high 70s and no humidity. And it was perfect, because I had my wonderful Southern belle accompanying me.

Ugh...XX Part 2

2010-08-30T20:47:00.001-07:00

The Good:

I went to Playmakers to seek guidance on my little blister problem Monday afternoon. They recommended Blist-O-Ban. I wasn't sure, especially considering the $8 price tag. Alas, I threw on two of the large adhesive strips and began to attempt my 22M run (one day late). There was no pain regarding the heel. Therefore, I now believe in magic because those babies are magic.

I started at 7p and did manage to hit the magical XX mileage mark.

I wanted to run an easy 8:30/M pace. I averaged an 8:37.

The Redhead was kind enough to bike a few miles with me and then meet up with me around mile 14 to provide a needed water break,

The Bad:

It got dark fast. Real fast. Seems the long summer days are over.

It was 87deg to start.

I started out well, but fell apart around mile 11. It was brutal, and I pulled up two miles short of my 22M goal.

I now have a small blister on the bottom of my left foot. Which I will address soon, at least before it becomes the size of its right foot counterpart.

I hurt. Doing back to back 20M runs is not easy.

The Lesson:

I came home and was defeated. Utterly defeated. But a running defeat is not the same as a defeat in life. Run defeats are temporary. And you can have a defeating run and still be optimistic.

Which is exactly how I felt after my run. Yep, butt kicked; even a little loopy. But I proved something out there. I did it, even when I had every reason to not. And how else should you celebrate after such a victory...by going to Taco Bell for some 4th Meal.

Perhaps running defeats and life defeats are not all that different after all, it just depends on your outlook. So, keep you outlook up my running friends.

An Understandable Fail

2010-08-30T04:05:00.000-07:00

I had a big weekend of running planned. I was going to run the 10M CRIM on Saturday and follow it up with a slow 22M run on Sunday. But first I should back up to last Tuesday to help establish some context for my weekend fail.

Last Tuesday I took a short 2M run/jog wearing my Vib r ams. I’ve owned and used my Vibrams for almost a year now, but I’ve never run farther than 3M wearing them. The reasoning for this is twofold: first; I have the original (read: cheapest version) where there are no straps or material to secure the shoe (is it a shoe?) to the foot (see picture below);

and second, my foot slides in them. I’ve purchased the toe-finger socks to try minimize this, but it all results in the occasional blister on the direct bottom of my heel. And yes, they are the correct size, the foot just naturally slides in any shoe you run in.

When I ran in my Vibrams last Tuesday I nonetheless still got a tiny (dime sized) blister on the bottom of my right heel. No big deal, I’ll just take it easy and it will go away naturally, as they always do.

But during my tempo run I managed to aggravate that blister, and during the last mile of my tempo run I felt the bottom of my heel “squish” a bit. When I got home I noticed the blister had grown to the size of a silver dollar. Ugh…not so good. But it had a few days to recover before the CRIM. No problem.

On the morning of the CRIM the Redhead began inquiring as to my desired pace. I was figuring something conservative—around 75 minutes. Because of her injury, she was going to be the official Spike Cheer Team Captain and photographer.

So, facing 60deg temperatures and a forecast of a cloudless day, I lined up just after the 7min pace sign and slammed an 8oz bottle of water. When there are over 10,000 runners, even if you line up by the 7min pace sign, you are going to have to spend a lot of time playing the human version of Pushy Penguins. I hit the first mile at a 7:08 and felt pretty comfortable. I didn’t look at my watch again until after mile three, where I saw a 6:59 split. Humm I thought, if I keep this up, I could hit something close to 70. But I knew I had the Bradley Hills to deal with, and the temperature was quickly rising to 65+.

When I hit the hills I felt I was moving through several of the runners even though my pace was slowing slightly. Up up up, down, up up up up, down down, up up up up, down, up up up and up. Finally, I reached the top of the hills and the end of mile 6. I decided to focus and try to run 7min miles for the last four. The only problem is that the blister on the bottom of my right heel was getting more and more insistent that it was extremely displeased with its current situation.

Somewhere around the start of mile 8 the blister felt like it exploded, and I felt like I was running on a soaked sponge. To say that this is a painful experience is to understate the experience greatly.

At mile 9 I decided to drop the hammer and ran a 6:24 mile. Because I was so focused, I missed the Redhead cheering for me, but she did manage to snap a picture of my final approach. Despite my goal, I managed to sneak in under 70 min. After the race I hobbled over to join the Redhead and double back to cheer on other runners—including my cousin.

When I finally took of my shoe to look at the damage…well, I’ll just let you see.

Home, and after a shower, the blister had to be addressed. So the Redhead donned her nurse outfit and played running nurse, cutting away the excess skin. It was hands down the most disgusting thing she has had to deal with since the beginning of our cohabitation (three months today!). The blister was so thick that it was like cutting leather. The result is…well…below…

Needless to say, such a mere flesh wound made my attempt at 22M less than 24 hours later idiotic. So, I bailed. And I’ll consider giving it another go tonight. Unfortunately, I’ll have to adjust my long runs accordingly because this could take a few days to heal.

Puntastic.

Not to Put to Fine a Point on It

2010-08-27T02:47:00.000-07:00

Or Gilding the Lilly

There are a few things I wanted to say before I espouse upon a musing left by my neighborhood hero. First, I failed to notice that this weekend’s 22M run must occur on Sunday, as I am running the 10M CRIM on Saturday. Well, race hard and enjoy a slow long run is what I say.

Also, I got up to do a 6M temp run this morning and it was 50deg. Beep yeah!!! I’m so ready to make out with Fall (as it wraps its cool- temperature arms around me) I might make the Redhead jealous.

But to the topic at hand; Nitmos’ post about just going out and running without a running plan. His post has been floating around in my heard for a few days now—and when you have a 4 hour car drive, that is a lot of time spent thinking about thing Nitmos has thought about. Additionally, I was recently inspired by Adam to review the graphs from my track workouts. Reviewing my track workouts I noticed how consistent my speed was for every interval. Regardless of distance, each graphed interval was flat line. Good if running, no so good if it is your EKG printout.

Nitmos’ post made me wonder: how does my body automatically know what pace to exert per any given distance? Doing 400m intervals, I hit about 80s. Doing 800m intervals, I hit 2:50min. But what I’m not doing is hitting the first 400m at 80s and then slowing to a 90s lap. I go 85s then 85s.

For some reason, I got an idea into my head this past Tuesday that I would add an extra 400m to my track session (I didn’t have a 400m interval scheduled that day). So, at the end of the workout I tried to burn out a 72s-75s 400m. I hit 80s flat. And, honestly, I was a little surprised. I felt like I was really pushing this one.* Yet, all I did was hit my normal 400m pace.

Now, I’m all for consistency, and running marathon miles at a consistent pace is a good thing (various course elevations may slightly alter this approach). Yet, am I doing the same thing as Nitmos and just running on feel and not fighting it? Shouldn’t I be trying to hit my 800m interval at 80s for the first lap and then trying to keep it close for the second lap? Is a 80s + 92s (1:52min) better than a 86s + 86s (1:52min) interval. Is there really more room to improve if I hit uneven spits?

I wonder....

*I know I was tired from doing an entire track workout, but it really wouldn’t be any different than the last 400m interval of a 2 x (6 x 400m) workout.

XX

2010-08-23T14:10:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I had my first 20M run since April. I love to say: “It’s not the XX, but the VI of a marathon that get you.” But if you haven’t run 20M in a long time, the last five are going to hurt.

And that was the story this past weekend. So, while the Redhead was away and enjoying the fun Chicago has to offer, I tucked into bed at 8pm to be up by 4am (that’s right, Chicago has nothing on the Lansing night-life).

Sure it was 71deg at 5am and sure it was about 90% humidity, but what’s new? Most annoying was that the weather decided to drizzle on and off, but never fully rain (read: keeping the humidity high while never offering the sweet refreshment of cool rain). The run went well for the first 15M, but soon fell apart during the last 5. It should come as no surprise that the last 5 held a lot of ‘just focus on one more mile’ and ‘will this run ever end?” I also ended up chanting my montra for the last two miles. But I made it.

Next week I introduce a new ‘tweek’ into my training, stacking 20M+ runs back to back. So I’ll be doing 22M on Saturday, this time with an extra focus on the last 5.

A Farewell to Arms (and Legs)

2010-08-20T10:47:00.000-07:00

Yeah sure, you may have been the one to break up with me first, but that doesn’t mean I wasn’t going to end it anyway. I just thought I’d stay with you until after the holiday—I don’t want your friends to think I’m rude or anything.

That said, I’d like to say thank you for all of your ~~kind~~ sarcastic remarks and your willingness to allow bloggers and your wife to school you in running. Your every failure lifted my spirits just that much higher.*

I could spend more time drafting a mini-dissertation on why you will be missed, but others have done so and I couldn’t do it better.

Finally, the Big Ten is just too good for you.

* Yes, I am doing the macho thing and masking my sadness by being cold and indifferent.

A Long Discussion About Things

2010-08-16T18:18:00.000-07:00

or…My Running State of Training Speech

I’ll begin with an admission, I’m bad with change. I’m not talking about my absolute hatred of pennies; no, it’s the other kind of change. More specifically, I resist making an easy change even when it will benefit me. An example: I started my new job last October, the week before the Chicago Marathon. At my previous job, clients came to the firm. Now, working for a corporation, we go to the client. This means I went from a very predictable 8a to 5p job to days where I may work from 12p to 10p by the time I finish my commute home. Because the profession I represent is 24 hours a day/7 days a week, often I have meetings at 7pm (and the occasional 6am meeting). At my old job, we had unlimited internet freedom. New job, not so much. Old job, at desk all day. New job, at desk once a week. Basically, I now work non-standard hours and must always dodge the internet boogeyman.

That said, back to the ‘bad with change’ part. While training for Boston I could have done my runs in the morning if I knew I had to work late that evening. I didn’t. Instead I tried to force in late runs and ended up missing several workouts. Yep, I’d get home at 9:30p and I’d try to go do a tempo run—which never went well. Why run at night when I could easily run in the morning? Because it’s cold and dark and sidewalks are not plowed on any average Michigan winter morning. Then again, the same applies for any average Michigan winter evening. Hummm…

Alas, when change presented me with an opportunity(i.e. run in the morning)—I ignored it. I tried to stick to my old ways and ended up frustrated because I was missing several of my weekly runs. Not to mention the fact that I tried to do track workouts in the winter. Yes, I’m stubborn (read: stupid) enough to try and do 400s, 600s, 800s, etc in winter. I’d try to find a clear length of sidewalk and sprint it…in winter. It didn’t work. I couldn’t find a clear length or I’d face horrific winds and sleet the few days I could find enough room to sprint. Oh, did I ever mention that I live extremely close to Michigan State University and that MSU has an indoor track open to the public? Did I ever use this indoor track during Boston training? Come on, you should know the answer to this!!!

So, while I never missed a long run, I never really fully trained adequately. And despite a goal of running Boston at a comfortable pace, I still had a crap-tastic race.

After Boston, I took several weeks off. I’d been training hard for over 16 months. I rested. I didn’t run or workout. Instead, I read. I prepared for the Redhead to move in. I slept late on weekends. I ate Taco Bell, Pizza Hut, dark chocolate Reese’s, and Cheez-Its. And I got out of running shape. But it was wonderful. Simply, my body needed the rest (but not so much Taco Bell).

When base training for Grand Rapids was supposed to begin in early June, I sorta did it. I’d maybe run once or twice during the week. Same problem, refusing to run in the morning and trying to force runs in late at night.

This all resulted in me arriving at the start of my Grand Rapids training at the below designated fitness level.

I ran Chicago 09 at 178lbs. I weighed in before GR training at 205lbs. 25 extra pounds makes a difference regarding running shape. My first several weeks of training were stuffed full of slower runs where I was easily winded. Sure, some of my speed still remained, but I wasn’t going to last for much longer than a few miles.

But our bodies love to get healthy. I began to eat better (read: limiting my TB intake and (and this is a big deal for me) when forced to eat out—even at a fast food place—ordering a salad without dressing). I never die from eating salads. A good change, but one I always institute while training.

If a tree can make an abrupt change, why not I?

But the biggest change was only possible with the support of the Redhead. Together, she has helped me become a morning runner. Yep, every run begins before 6:30a. I won’t lie, it sucks. Early morning running should only be reserved for long runs. Alas, now I run in the am. And I’ve managed to hit all of my runs this way. I’ve combined eating healthier with regularly working out and guess what—I’m getting back into good running shape. I’ve lost over 10lbs in 4 weeks; plus my speed and endurance are getting back to form. Imagine that!?!

Are my times what they were last year at this point in my training—no. But last year I had the benefit of running Bayshore and then Sunburst and then began Chicago training—so I had an excellent base going into Chicago 09. And the goal this year is to have an awesome Boston. Which means training as hard as possible for Grand Rapids and carrying that momentum (and the adjustments I have made/should have made last year) into training for the 115th running of the Boston Marathon.

But really, what does all of this mean. I think it goes to show a few important aspects of running. Initially, regardless of whether you run in Asics or barefoot, if running is going to remain a long-term partner in your life, then you are going to have to allow yourself the gift of ~~adjusting~~ change. Life will always find cleaver, if not outright inconvenient, ways to interrupt your ‘perfect training plan.’ You can fight it, or accept it and make the best possible adjustment you can. And not to discredit the individuals who pursue running streaks or those who have trained hard every week for 75 straight years…but I’m a firm believer your body needs rest.

Second, there is a beauty in accepting that you are not where you were before; and that it will take some time to get back there. Don’t all long distance runners accept that the prize is in the journey and not the destination? Whether it is an injury-induced refrain from running or a self-imposed month of gluttony, there is joy in rediscovering your stride. It is not courageous to set a PR every time; it is courageous to fail and decide to continue—knowing what sacrifices must be made in order to toe the line once more.

On a Roll

2010-08-09T07:24:00.000-07:00

Rolls I like: Sushi rolls (especially spicy tuna); log rolling; foam rollers; Kurt Russell in Big Trouble in Little China; cinnamon rolls. Them there are some good rolls.

Rolls I don’t like: barrel rolls while I’m in the plane; Rolls-Royce; Sylvester Stallone in Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!; and rolling my ankle.

Half way through mile six on my 17M long run I took an awkward step, and rolled my left ankle.

The good, I’ve rolled many ankles. The bad, I know when it’s a serious roll. This is a ‘just below serious’ roll. But I'm optimistic this is not a miss-an-entire-week-of-training kind of injury.

Things of Summer

2010-08-04T11:03:00.000-07:00

We are surrounded by the Dog Days of Summer, but it seems more like a pack of cramp-inflicting, uber-sweat-inducing, make you beg for a sprinkler to coordinate with your run and allow a few brief drops of cool water to caress you days of summer. I personally blame Sirius.

But, I'd like to express my deepest sympathies to all runners living in the Southeaster and South-central parts of the country, who have to deal with 100+ temps today. I think it sucks to have 73 degrees and crazy humidity at 7am, while y'all are starting at 80+ at 6ish.

Sorry my running friends, sorry.

Two Runners: One Abode (Dude Version)

2010-07-29T02:00:00.000-07:00

or, Why I have Decorative Towels and a New Shower Curtain

Number of towels (and bathmats) in bathroom prior to the arrival of R = 5

Number of towels (and bathmats) in bathroom actually used = 5 (2 bathmats, 2 towels, one hand towel)

Number of towels (and bathmats) in bathroom now = 8

Number of towels (and bathmats) in bathroom actually used now= 4 (So help me understand, I have three more towels and somehow end up with one less towel to use?!?)

Average number of bananas prior to the arrival of R = 3

Current average number of bananas at any given time = 46

Number of clothes racks prior to arrival of R = 1

Number of clothes racks currently = 2 (one for clean clothes and one for dirty clothes because…oh I just give up on that one)

Number of runners who put sauce on pasta prior to the arrival of R = 1

Number of runners who now put sauce on pasta now = 1 (sure, she puts some parmesan cheese on it, but your pasts feels all naked and self-conscious…I just know it)

Average size of Body Glide container in apartment prior to the arrival of R = 2.5oz

Average size of Body Glide container now = 1.475oz (I didn’t know they made Body Glide in containers that small—if this isn’t instantly funny, do the math)

Average number of individuals in line waiting for bathroom prior to the arrival of R = 0

Average number of individuals in line waiting for bathroom now = 1 (how she always manages to get there before me is baffling—I mean I’m faster than she is…I think)

Number of times someone was there to encourage me to get out of bed and run prior to the arrival of R = 0

Number of times someone was there to encourage me to get out of bed and run now = at least 15

Number of times I’ve seen R while we are out on our own run = 2

Average amount of time spent on Maymyrun.com per person = 1 hour per week

Percent increase in happiness since the arrival of my best-est friend and amazing girlfriend = 1000% (even if I’m without the use of one extra towel)

A Love Letter of Sorts

2010-05-26T03:25:00.000-07:00

Dear Shower Curtain,

This may be the most difficult letter I’ve ever written. As I’m sure you’ve noticed there have been some changes around the homestead. There has been a lot more use of cleaning products, putting items away after they are used, and even a concerted effort to pick-up the unending supply of discarded arm hairs and nose hairs.

Can you believe we have been together for over a decade? Think about it, our relationship has lasted longer than presidential terms and an entire series of VH1’s I love the (insert decade of your choice). We’ve seen the conclusion of Dawson’s Creek, the entire series of Lost, and more baseball games than is worth counting. And through that time you have always been there for me. Hanging strong and proud. You never balked at when I disrobed, never flinched when I accidentally turned on the cold water first. Like a loyal and true friend you moved with me from home to home.

But our time has come to an end. Like Abbott and Costello, Bill and Ted, Tina and Ike, and Peanut Butter and Jelly; the curtain is descending. I’m sure you are going to be stunned into silence by this revelation, and that you may protest by hanging around lifelessly; all of these are to be expected. But this change is going to happen.

Not that it will mean much, but it’s not your fault. You’ve done nothing wrong. And, just between you and me, it isn’t of my choosing either. I know, I know, don’t cry. I can see the drips beading up on your liner right now. It’s, well…it’s complicated. See, the Redhead is moving in this weekend. I’m very excited about this change. I’m ecstatic. But she has suggested (read: demanded) that you go.

I pleaded for you. I begged. But she said, and I quote, “I hate it.” It’s not your fault. I swear. Only, please understand, mature adult relationships are complicated. Sometimes things become more than just stuff, but that transition isn’t always noticeable to everyone else. Sometimes a home means two people purchasing stuff as a symbol to the world, a manifesto so to speak, about what the relationship stands for. And I’m sure you did your best to make her feel comfortable; but when forced to chose, I have to let you go.

I’ll do my best to place you in a nice home. Maybe one with a big bathroom with two sinks and heated floor tiles. I’ll even try to come and visit as often as possible. But we both know we are going our separate ways.

So. Goodbye.

Spike

(Belated) Boston Breakdown

2010-05-08T07:38:00.000-07:00

Part I: Pre-Race

Briefly, I want to thank a few people who made my first Boston experience amazing. Initially, I’d like to thank Buck & Bunny (my parents) as well as Mooney & Thor (my sister and her husband) for making the trip to Bean Town (or is it Beantown?).

Next, I want to thank the B.R.A., all of whom were excellent and fun. I can understand why the Redhead and B.o.B. love them so much. I have a man crush on them from hereon out. Plus, they (as you will read later) gave me the hook-up of all hook-ups by letting me hang in the pre-race house. Yep, while others were standing around or plopping their legs on the schoolyard grounds, I had a comfortable home with no bathroom line to speak of. Jealous? You should be.

After arriving on Friday night and taking the long way to the hotel, the Redhead and I made our way to one of what would turn out to be many amazing restaurant recommendations from Failed Muffins. Then, although rightly stuffed, the Redhead found a Taco Bell (I did say it was Friday after all). So good. So full.

We awoke early Saturday to navigate the T and make our way to the expo. As Sun Runner calls it; ‘porn for runners.’ I bought a lot of stuff. Lots of stuff. What can I say, it was my first Boston. Generally, the expo was good, but not great. Very crowded and a poor layout. But it was still the Boston Marathon Expo. And one of the best things was seeing the older Boston Marathon jackets, from 1998 and such. Next we headed to Harvard. There, I demonstrated my massive intellect whilst making fun of Harvard kids by reminding them that their football team sucks and that Elle Woods dated Luke Wilson…yeah, the guy doing TV commercials now. Then we met up with Buck and Bunny for some fine Boston eating. Finally, exhausted, we went home.

Sunday I watched the Redhead destroy her 5K pr. But I’ll let her tell you about that. Then there was the successful blogger meet-up. It was awesome to meet so many runner/bloggers. Sadly, I didn’t get a chance to spend as much time with as many of you as I would have liked; and I’m sorry. Shortly after the blogger brunch, we went to see Thor and Mooney for a quick hello.

Soon thereafter the Redhead and I joined the B.R.A. for a pre-marathon pasta dinner. There the fine members of the B.R.A. treated me as if I was one of their own. Something I’m sure they only did because of their profound admiration of the Redhead. They were so kind they didn’t even ask me why I had to excuse myself to the restroom 378 times.

No sooner had the plates been swept away than I was trying to get to sleep for my first Boston Marathon. Yay!!!

Part II: Race Day

Get on the bus Gus. Again, I would be lost without the B.R.A. Under the aegis of the B.R.A. I was able to avoid the massive lines for the plastic poop buckets and prepare for the race in a comfortable home which was right across the street from the athlete village. There is nothing like being surrounded by a 'one person deep' bathroom line and countless years of Boston running experience.

One thing you don’t know about until you are doing it is this, there is a bit of distance that must be covered from the athlete village to the stating line, maybe over half a mile. And it’s a little too crowded to really use it as a warm up—just a little something to store away. (My bus driver on the right)

Despite rain and cloudy weather up to that point, race morning was without a sun in the sky and 50 degrees at the start. Such running weather is ideal for most runners, but not for Spike. Spike prefers to run under Eeyore skies. The sun, unhindered by any clouds and streaking towards is apex, is not such a good thing for me to run a marathon under.

But I was there, toeing the line, and excited as all crap. Fighter jets flew overhead and we were off. I took it easy, didn’t get caught up with the rush down the first mile or the second mile. I was playing it smart, getting water at every mile. The sun remained a steady sentinel for the first half of the race.

As I was approaching the fabled Wellesley College, the amatory girls could be heard screaming like crazy. This part of the race was amazing, but I ran swiftly through the sea of sirens without stopping—my iPod serving as Odyssues' wax. Moreover, I knew my sweet reward awaited at the finish line.

Alas, despite the massive surge in adrenaline, it was around the half-way point where I had to take stock. I knew I had to slow down, or push forward and risk a disastrous result; also, I knew I was already beginning to cramp.

I slowed a bit, and cruised into the Newton Hill, where the cramps exploded at the first uphill. I pulled aside, tried to relax and stretch them out—but nothing worked. I started moving again and could run at a slow pace, but when I tried to push it, the calfs cramped up. I blame Nitmos.

This is where the weather and the hills bogged down my race, but not my spirits. I just kept smiling knowing Buck and Bunny were at the end of mile 22. I stopped to say hi, and continued to pick off the last few miles—making sure to walk through each water station and drink and entire cup of water (and sometimes some Gatorade).

When the legs cramped up, I walked a bit. I took the time to enjoy the entire experience and the crowd. The crowds were amazing everywhere, and even more so in Boston College. Nothing like drunken college fans ‘encouraging’ you on.

Finally, I turned the last corner and began my lookout for the Redhead—whom I noticed and kissed with great excitement. Then, I made my way down the last .2 miles (or so) and finished. Exhausted, battered, thrilled, and victorious.

I didn’t kill this course by any means, it was one of my slowest time I ever run; but I didn’t let the course kill me either. I took what I could from that day with the knowledge that I’ll be back again.

A Race Recap Before Boston

2010-04-16T13:29:00.001-07:00

Overdue? Yes. But funny? Yes.

I can say with all honesty that my running career exists solely because of McDonalds. Seriously. It was shortly after I discovered the wonderfullness of McDonald's French fries that my parents began to insist I 'go outside and be active or 'go run around for a while.'* It was as if my love of fast food and running were forged from the same fire, and the Ronald McDonald Run for the House is the perfect opportunity to help support a struggling millionaire get his mega-uber-big-home off the foreclosure block.

I've been wanting to race the Run for the House for a few years now, but it was traditionally held during the dead of summer. Fortunately, a few years ago RftH took the late March spot previously held by the Food & Fitness 5K. Plus, and I'm just being honest with you, you can run this race wearing authentic Ronald McDonald socks. For a slight additional cost, you can get an official pair of white and red striped thigh-high socks. Something a fine little running redhead seemed quite confounded about. But I digress.

As this race is a family 5K, there was a kids race beforehand. And Ronald himself was there to encourage the little tykes along. At that moment it seemed everyone was having the best of times. After the kids finished and were given a medal regardless of when they finished, the approximately 600 runners lined up for the main event. And this, my friends, is when things began to go wrong...horrifically and wonderfully wrong.

The start was a 'V' shaped funnel; and someone decided it would be a 'great' idea to have Ronald ‘thank us’ for allowing him to add the 30,ooo square foot addition he has been longing for (and to finally finish gold plating his indoor 12 lane bowling alley). The ‘great’ idea continued by suggesting Ronald \start the race. As you can see be the picture below, old Ronald started the race about 10 feet from the starting line. The starting line! The starting line, you know, that place where the fastest runners line up first and sprint at the sound of "Go!" or any loud bang. Yep, that starting line.

I crossed the start, started my Garmin, and as I began to look up a kid came darting out from my right, causing me to cut a hard left to avoid him. And that is when I saw it, a huge mass of yellow and red...directly in front of me.

I hit that clown the way my SUV hit a deer, putting my left shoulder into his body and sending him spinning like a top. Clown down. I myself, for this is my blog, barely managed to keep my balance, having to use my hands to prop myself back up. After finally regaining my balance, my 5K race began. I tucked in behind a few quicker runners and let them pull me through a solid first mile, but I just couldn’t find that second gear and toughness to stay strong the second mile. After getting passed by one runner at the start of the third mile, I managed to surge a bit and passed two runners before coasting into a solo finish and assured ag award.

And, as if getting flattened by some ‘jerk’ runner isn’t bad enough, imagine the indignation he felt when he had to give me my ag award. Sure, I could have said I was sorry, and could have been the bigger man. But I didn’t. Nope, I just made the most of our little moment and whispered “I own you” as we were photographed together. A wonderful little moment captured in a picture.

* It is also true that my love of reading exists because of Pizza Hut. Were it not for the wonderful summer program where reading 5 books scored you a personal pan pizza, I likely would have followed my initial desire to remain illiterate for the duration of my life. And if you don't think illiteracy is funny, you likely can't read this anyway.

They Say the Old Adage is True

2010-03-18T04:36:00.000-07:00

At the risk of opening myself up for public mockery; since the weather has broken and we have had an unprecedented string of sunny and quasi-warm days, I oft find myself singing John Denver’s “Annie’s Song” and even Cat Steven’s “Morning Has Broken.” *Begin dispensing of insults as if you were flinging rotting fruit at Quasimodo.

I remain somewhat stymied when it comes to how to fit meaningful training into my new work schedule…let alone time to post and comment. But since March 1st I have hit every scheduled run. On one particular morning I had to run early or forfeit my chance to run at all. I laid in bed and struggled with it—even though the weather was perfect for morning running. But I got up and got outside, and I ran. When it was all said and done, I was thrilled I’d done it.

So, like they say: You never regret a run you do, but you always regret runs you skip. So true. The problem is that I feel the exact same way with stopping at McDonalds for a large chocolate (or Mint in honor of St. Patty’s Day) shake and large fries. Seriously, I have been known to bitterly bring up the fact that I didn’t get a late night McRush a few days prior.

Last weekend I had a 24M run on the schedule. I dropped it to 22M because my attempt to run 22M on a treadmill two week prior was a complete fail (only 17M). I chose the hills-of-hell route. I paid dearly. I was aiming for a 7:30/M average. I hit a 7:40/M average. Now, it isn’t the end of the world, but with only one 20M+ run left, I’m sure I’m not ready to run anything close to a 7:15/M average necessary to BQ at Boston.

Which is good, because I haven’t planned to try that, and because I’m just not there. The timing of this training and the weather have successfully conspired to frustrate my training, so I’m going there to run hard and run for fun. My plan is to hit a 3:30, or a comfortable 8:00/M pace.

But let’s just be honest as a dollar-eating goat, I’ll probably get there and hit the first few miles at an easy 7:10 and think “Why not Spike? Go for it! The Gods favor you today.” And I’ll go for it. And somewhere around Heartbreak Hill ‘it’ will come back with vengeance. Just as Pandora is fated to open the box, so am I fated to wholeheartedly ignore my ‘race plan.’

I love running.

There Always is a Silver Lining

2010-03-01T08:14:00.000-08:00

Last Friday the weather took a deep drawn in breath. As I drove home from the rare Friday night meeting the weather was calm and placid. Because someone had to attend a secret dinner cooked by ninjas, and because my wonderful girlfriend was preparing to rock her marathon (quick: go tell her what a great job she did), I quickly rearranged my schedule to head out of town by noon on Saturday. This meant I had to get my 22M run in early Saturday morning—no matter what.

While thinking about my upcoming long run and driving down the highway, Winter exhaled. Snow. Hard, heavy, wet snow, carried on angry winds. And caught and ripped away in this late February storm went any hope I had of a quality long run outside. I had no choice, 22M indoors.

Yes, I was going to attempt to do 22M on a treadmill.

It was a fail. I had to stop after 17M. I honestly think I was hallucinating. The fact that there is even a record for most miles run on a treadmill in a 24 hour period is insane.

But a bad long run is not unexpected during marathon training. However, there is some fortunate news. The temps finally moved above freezing. Today, the sun is shining and snow is melting off of sidewalks. On the first day of March, the chokehold Winter has had on this part of the County loosened. The white knuckled grip slackened a bit, enough to provide the most important training tool—hope. A deep gasp of hope. Exactly what I needed.

Today, for the first time, I feel hope about the remainder of my training for Boston. And I can tell you that this break and the arrival of beautiful are not simply coincidence.

Pirate Attack

2010-02-22T09:13:00.000-08:00

In honor of the upcomming race for Avast, Redhead Running, the following post includes things likely to be said by pirates at the Gasparilla Marathon:

“I can’t believe Asics doesn’t make a peg-leg shoe!”

“If you pass me, my parrot is trained to gouge out your eyes.”

“I’m just following the dotted line until I find a gigantic X.”

“The booty is only 26.2 miles ahead!”

“Boston has a ‘Tea Party,’ we have rum! We win!”

“Publix…”

“I’m not slow, I’m just getting my sea legs back!”

“Pirate marathoners tend to have cramps and crabs.”

“I’m not running a marathon, I’m looking for my ship!”

“How many nautical miles are in a regular mile?”

Super Bowl 5K—On Ice

2010-02-09T09:30:00.000-08:00

I truly enjoy running my local Super Bowl 5K. It’s well organized, a pretty sizeable crowd considering the time of year and wild variance in weather, and I can even run in tights if I wish.

Last year the main issue/problem with the course was the neighborhood. If you don’t recall, the route is mostly along a main street with one mile spent in a ‘hood.’ And last year the hood wasn’t cleared, forcing us to slog through several inches of wet snow. This year the streets were again clear, but the hood provided well matted-down snow; which was basically ice. Perhaps the organizers thought: ‘If Disney and Sesame Street can take anything they do, put it on ice, and still draw a crowd, why cant we?’ No joke, several runners decided it was better to run on the snow covered grass/sidewalks than run on the ice rink.

I, of course prompted by a voice in my head, decided the only ‘true runner’ thing to do would be to run on the course—regardless of the dangerous conditions. And I did, almost falling several times. I even heard a runner bite it behind me (and no I didn’t stop to see if he/she was alright).

After the second mile we returned back to the main street and smooth surface running. By that point, the 22M of hills had caught up, and I slightly wished a car would come along and give me an honorable DNF—plus chicks dig scars.

Instead, I rallied and managed to pass a few runners before the finish, romping in under 19:30. About a minute faster than last year’s race, and not bad considering the mile of ‘escapades on ice.’ I also managed to start my racing year off right with some bling. Despite my improved time, my AG place remained the same. But I’ll take it willing; so long as a beautiful redhead thinks my AG award is better than a massive car-induced scar.

A Long Winter, a Long Interval Away

2010-02-08T09:14:00.000-08:00

First, I have an absence to explain. Well, my new work has a ‘new’ internet policy. And it’s a little fuzzy whether posting falls under the ‘acceptable internet use’ definition. And of course, our new policy is followed with an ‘observation period.’ So, they were tracking everyone’s internet breadcrumb trail, causing me to go incognito.

Also, with my new job, I’m on the road quite a bit more, while working approximately the same number of hours. The major difference being I’m away from home during the weekdays, quite infrequently having to work on the weekends. While prior I got home about the same time every weekday and put in some hours on the weekend. Why does this matter? Simple, it means that instead of going to workout at 5:30p on weekdays, and having to work a few hours on Sat/Sun (nothing better than working for five hours after a long run), I’m away from home until 8p at night—thereby making consistent weekday workouts very difficult—especially in winter. However, I have an abundance of free time on the weekends, where I only have one run to fit in.

But, alas, the ‘observation period’ has come and gone and I’ll be free to post and comment again. I trust all of you will be magnanimous towards me, and I thank you in advance.

Annnndddd, with all of that perfunctory stuff out of the way, I’ll give you a brief update concerning my training for Boston.

It sucks.

Yep, sucks big time.

Why? I’ve been missing weekday workouts. My long runs are significantly slower than training for Chicago. I’ve borrowed Nitmos’ Cheeto layer, and I can’t seem to give it back. Plus, the weather has been frightful. Clean sidewalks for running—nope. Cold and slippery conditions—yep. Nothing above freezing for a month—yep.

As a for instance. On Saturday I ran 22M. I selected the hilliest route possible for this area, an 11M out and back. The route has several hills and one large slow incline of well over 100 feet. That series of hills is about as close as I can fake it for the “Newton Hills” and its famous peak “Heartbreak Hill.” But it was 21 degrees, and a 15-20mph headwind. So, I had the fight of my life for a 7:54/M average.

But I’ve run long enough is MI to know this: when it comes to January and February, sometimes it is just enough to run the miles hard. When I look back at my training for Bayshore this time last year, my times and speeds are not that different. Everything speed related rests on going hard (but slow) these two months with the hope that speed will bloom in early spring.

Tomorrow I’ll drop my Super Bowl 5K recap, which I ran yesterday.

A New Year That Rocked

2010-01-04T13:29:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I loaded up the eco-friendly and “great-mileage-getting” SUV and headed south to meet up with the Redhead. It was our plan to meet halfway, avoid zombies, and ring in the New Year together. And, because this is a running blog—and because we are both currently training for marathons—we decided to incorporate a long run into our little weekend tryst.

Unfortunately for us, the cold and bitter winds known so well by the upper regions of this country followed me down to Chattanooga, bringing a decidedly Midwest winter feel to that southern town. Oh, and in case you are just entirely unaware, there here hills in them there Mountains; hills we ran up, and down, and up again.

Our planned 16M was cut short to 10M after combating harsh winds, 25 degree temps, and a hill of death. I now understand the old saying: “We went uphill both ways.” I even met Boston’s Heartbreak Hill’s little sister, Chattanooga’s Punch-in-the-gut-Hill. She isn’t very nice—by the way.

But our long run misadventure aside, we had a spectacular weekend, filled with wonderful laughs, meaningful and warm words spoken on the Walnut Street Bridge—gapping a river attempting to freeze, and a most excellent post run nap.*

I’m extremely excited to see her again next weekend as I go down to cheer on my cuz as he runs the Disney Marathon. I’m hopeful he’ll have a good race, but I’m worried his injuries may make for a very difficult run.

*And of course we hit up Taco Bell on Friday, it was the first TBF of the new year!!!

Things Fall Apart: The Weight of Winter

2009-12-16T10:20:00.000-08:00

Sorry Beautiful, but I’m into my winter 10, and just to be honest, it turned out to be a winter 12 this year. Whew, I feel better now.

So, since the OUC 5K, I basically forgot to run for a while, and therefore my running habits haven’t been going strong. In fact, they got pretty ugly pretty fast. I’ve had an 8M long run and a 10M long run sitting around and talking trash for weeks now. I asked the sloth sitting next to me to get my back, but he said I made him look productive. Make him look productive?!? That jerk has been wearing the same pair of my underwear for the past five days. Sometimes I hate the sloth more than the goat.

And then the Pillsbury Dough Boy called and said I was fat. I told him to come on over and say it to my face, but I really just wanted to bake that little punk and later him up with butter—then enjoy crispy deliciousness.

But training for Boston starts this week, and I finally managed to get a 10M run in last weekend. The real problem is training fast in snow. I believe there is a limit to how fast you can run in the snow. My best guess is that I can only hit about 80% workout effort on snow covered sidewalks/roads. After that, pushing it only serves to greatly increase the likelihood of a fall.

Point and case, on clear and open roads I hit 5M in 25 degree temps at a 6:50/M average; on snow covered sidewalks I could only manage 8:05/M for my 10M. Then, on mostly clear sidewalks, I could hit three mile repeats at 6:10, 6:19, 6:14. So, for everyone out there dealing with the same crap I am, I feel ya!

And finally, tomorrow I leave to Chattanooga to go spend time with a certain wonderful Redhead. We will be doing out first ‘long run’ together. I believe, in running relationships, this is considered the ‘biggest test’ there is. I better not fail.

Oh, I See How It Is

2009-12-15T13:50:00.000-08:00

The Redhead informed me the ladies have themselves a little ‘girl only’ bloggers gift exchange. Well, I guess I’ll just have to follow my hero's inspiration and start my own blog chapter of G.R.O.S.S.

Because it’s probably a little too late for the blog boyz to get organized, I’ll just list what I would have gotten a few of the male bloggers out there.

Nitmos: a stick and ten minutes in a back alley with Dick Beardsley so they can work out their issues

Viper: a six pack of Bush Light and two used coasters

Vanilla: only allow his wife a two minute head start so he might have a change to catch her in a skirt chaser 5K.

TGS: a lifeguard to actually watch him during his next surfing contest

Adam: a three month old National Geographic for all his ‘fun’ times spent on hotel treadmills

Paul: a keyboard to eliminate his accent

Lam: a tech shirt that says “Yep, I’m faster than you” (because the guy is so darn humble)

If I forgot you, I have two pairs to old running socks and one goat who now insists upon eating only dollars. Stupid goat.

Racing With a Purpose (Race Recap)

2009-12-07T21:34:00.000-08:00

There are many different reasons to pursue during a race. I was thinking about this as I headed south for my 5K this past weekend. I was looking forward to running the OUC 5K because the weather was expected to be better than in Lansing-which did get some snow after all. However, running in ‘better’ weather was not the driving purpose to running outside of the Lansing area.

I’ve only been on a ‘maintenance program’ with my running, with one to two short runs and a long run of 8 to 12 miles every weekend. So, I wasn’t in peak racing shape, or even great training shape. Therefore, a PR was really unlikely. One aspect of my running that I enjoy is that I don’t feel compelled to PR every time I toe the line for a 5K. Therefore, my purpose was not to PR before the end of the year. I had a greater purpose this weekend.

And yet, the purpose of this 5K was more than a ‘just go out there and have fun’ attitude. I wanted to run hard; and I’m never opposed to any bling I may earn. However, my purpose in running this race was a greater than getting some extra bling.

Also, I just recently received, as an early present (thanks Santa), a new Garmin. The 405 should be pretty cool, and this would be my first opportunity to test out my new toy. Alas, the first road testing of a new Garmin failed to be my primary purpose this race.

Moreover, I had agreed to act as a ‘final .5M’ pacer; meaning I would double back after my race and help to motivate and encourage through the final and difficult last leg of the race. And I can tell you from previous experience, being a pacer for a friend is a great honor and tremendously enjoyable—even if they are tired and less than enthusiastic about your enthusiasm. While being a cheer pacer is excellent, it wasn’t my true purpose for this race.

As for the race itself, I started off trailing the lead pack. This put me and about five others in the second tier of runners for this race. For the first mile I led the second pack, but slowed a bit when the course went from concrete to brick. My first foot-strike on the bricks made my plantar fasciitis scream. And shortly thereafter I was passed by two runners.

I tried to stick with them, but they seemed to have something that second mile that I didn’t. It killed me a little to watch them pull away. Also, because I was running a new course, I didn’t have a solid idea of where I really was or how much remained in the race.

As I rounded a corner I noted a significant straightaway, and during this stretch I realized that the two runners I had passed had not only ceased to distance themselves from me, but that I had gained about 10 feet on them.

I began to summon my inner motivational voice: “Run faster you loser!” The long straightaway rounded into the final stretch. I furiously picked up speed. As the runner in front of me gained on his opponent, I was gaining on them both. About 30 meters from the finish I managed to pass both runners—but not without a valiant effort and attempted re-surge by one of the two runners to withstand my pass.

Immediately after finishing I spun around and jogged back down the course to meet up and begin my home-stretch pacer responsibilities. And, when that was done, I performed the primary purpose which had brought me to this specific race.

Weekend Jumpstart

2009-12-04T04:07:00.000-08:00

I’ve put in some long work hours these past few weeks—even with the recent long holiday I need a little vacation. If I’m forced to train for Boston in cold and stupid Michigan, I better slot a little getaway.

This weekend the only local 5K is the Dashing Through the Snow 5K, but snow is not expected to last around here this weekend. Plus, the only thing more depressing than Lansing not having salt bagels after a race is partaking in a race with the word “snow” in it when there is no snow on the ground. Therefore, I think I’ll utilize the Runner’s Word Race Finder and find me a better 5K.

I’ll drop a race report, and let you all in on a little secret, next week.

An Open Letter to Party Store Owners

2009-12-02T03:34:00.000-08:00

I will be mailing this letter this week.

Dear Owner of the Northern Party Store,

I wanted to take a moment and thank you and compliment your excellent staff. On the Saturday following Thanksgiving I decided I would attempt to undo—if that is even possible—the horrific carnage and possibly irreversible cholesterol damage I sustained during Thanksgiving and the following day.

Despite what I’m sure was the consumption of, conservatively, about 7500 calories during a ridiculous 48 hour period, a run seemed like a good idea. But then again, all bad ideas seem like a good idea at the time—just ask my friend Joe about buying his wife a snowplow for Valentine’s Day.

Because I was visiting my parents, and don’t know the area well enough, I decided to utilize the rails-to-trails trail; beginning my journey close to the fabulous Midland Tridge.

First, however, as some background information, you should know that I am a dedicated long distance runner. I’ve completed several marathons and regularly embark upon a run of 10 miles or farther just for fun. Now, before you begin to judge me too harshly, trust me, I understand how sick and slightly masochistic that sounds. But I tell you, I just love to run. I once even ran 12 miles around an indoor track that required 5 laps to complete a mile. Think about that, 4 left turns per lap and 5 laps per mile…yep, 240 left turns. It took me two days before I could turn right again. I totally know how Derek Zoolander feels.

Anyway. I was just over 4 miles into what I was hoping would be a 10 mile run when the Thanksgiving turkey, gravy, delicious stuffing with cranberries, and about 100 ounces of Mtn. Dew began to seek revenge. Boy were my innards revolting, churning and thrusting and threatening to make a new exit if I didn’t… well, you get the point. And here I am, surrounded by woods and almost nothing else, facing the great long distance runners conundrum: “Do I act like a bear and utilize the wilderness, or do I try to salvage some inkling of my humanity and turn back now (Note: turning back would mean an 8 mile run because I was running and out/back route)?”

Then, a ray of heaven’s light shone down and I saw the Northern Party Store sign. I ran across and used your restroom. What is significant is that your staff was completely understanding to the fact that I was not there to buy a Gatorade or maybe a Twix candy bar. Tired and probably sweating gravy, I went directly to your bathroom without haste.

Sometimes stores will have a policy that prevents people from using the restroom unless they patron the store. This rule sucks. It sucks even more if you are an avid long distance runner such as myself. And, as an aside, do you really want to place a part sweat and part gravy soaked fiver sitting in your cash register? No, of course you don’t. Can you imagine the kinds of negative emotions a bill like that would have on the other innocent bills in the register?

But, those stores have you at their mercy I tell ya, I mean sometimes you have to go and the only currency you have are a few pine-comes you picked up during your run.

Fortunately for me, Northern Party Store has (or isn’t enforcing) such a policy. Therefore, as a token of my appreciation (and in hopes that you will not alter the status quo regarding runners using the restroom), I have included five dollars.

God bless you and my mother’s delicious stuffing,

A Running Bluebear

P.S. I do hope to do future long runs on the aforementioned trail, and therefore hope this fiver will ensure an open restroom in the event of another emergency.

P.P.S. In case you were wondering, no physical damage was done to your restroom; but your toilet may suffer some lasting emotional scarring; to wit the enclosed fiver will not even begin to cover the cost of professional therapy.

Turkey Trotting: Race Recap (and some other stuff as well)

2009-12-01T08:03:00.000-08:00

Early Thursday my cuz and I woke up, donned our pseudonyms and other race gear, and made our way to the great city of Detroit* for the Turkey Trot 10K. Check out the cool tech race shirt below.

Now, my cuz has been running on and off for the past three years; occasionally training for a 5K or 10K here and there. But, his quasi-residence in Orlando has provided him with the opportunity to run a few Disney races (a 10K and 13K) recently. His enjoyment in those races led him to sign up for the Disney Marathon in early January.

Cuz asked me to join him for a portion of his marathon—which I readily agreed to do—and this 10K was a practice session for our upcoming run.

Now, returning to the above mentioned 10K race, we rolled down into the Dirty D with lots of other folks on a cool and crisp day. The start of the race utilized both sides of a street divided by various shrubbery, then wrapped around a traffic circle. So, depending on what side of the street you lined up on, there was staggered start. The two sides rejoined after the traffic circle.

The race itself was fun; we held a good conversational pace and joked during the course. The people lining up for the parade (which followed the race) were energetic, and many crowd hive-fives were dispensed.

When the 10K and the 5K split apart, someone may have yelled “quitters” and “I see your 5K and double it” and maybe a “10Kers do it for twice as long.”

We finished strong and were rewarded with delicious food—including salt bagels. I don’t know what the deal is in Lansing, but in the greater Dirty D area post race salt bagels are a staple. A race director would sooner go without water than salt bagels. But not here in Lansing where people barely know what a salt bagel is. Sometimes my town is depressing.

On Saturday I headed out for a 10M run down the rails-to-trails trail near Buck and Bunny’s abode, and was 4M into at 10M out/back when the need to use a restroom manifested itself. Fortunately, I saw a party store and was able to maintain some of my runner’s dignity.

Finally, I decided to run one last 5K this year, and it will be this weekend, baring any unforeseen dramatic changes in the weather or loss of motivation due to weekend late nights.

*Such things are notably subjective

Work Work Work

2009-11-26T18:17:00.000-08:00

Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Sleep. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Run.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.
Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work.

Turkey Trotting

2009-11-24T06:41:00.000-08:00

This past summer I ran a 10K bandit. This is by no means anything new for me, or for my family. In fact, one could argue that it is a family tradition to run 10Ks bandit. For years Buck (my Dad) dragged at least half of his four uber-annoying kids down to Detroit to run in the Turkey Trot 10K. In fact, it wasn’t until I was in 8th grade (or grade 8 for all you Canadians) that I realized we should be paying to run in this event.

In all honesty, I haven’t run this race in 5 years. So, I’m thinking of getting some of my family members together and running it. But the question is, should a group of job holding financial (mostly) responsible people run a race bandit?

Yeah, I know, I’m encouraging the ripping off of a good charity. And, believe it or not, such things actually bother me. But I do have two compromise positions. First, I’ll take the cost of the race and donate that amount directly to the charity. The way I justify it, that is more actual money for the charity. Or, run under an pseudonym.

Either way, the Parade Company will be getting some greenbacks and I’ll be running the 10K Turkey Trot with a few members of my family.

What would your racing pseudonym be?

Winter Means Always Running at Night*

2009-11-17T06:46:00.000-08:00

Last week I decided I was going to do a 12M long run at some point over the weekend. Thank you ambitious self, I love when you set goals for me. Saturday morning my alarm went off early. I turned it off and went back to sleep.

Sunday morning was a reoccurrence of Saturday morning and no running occurred. Thank you slacker self for destroying the goals ambitious self sets, breaking a little more of his esteem each time.

But, because it is what they do, that stupid unwanted and unanswered long run hung around like a ghost all day Sunday. Just jawing at me. “You gonna get out there and run?”

“No.” I reply.

“You’re lazy, and you suck at Mario Kart.” It says.

“I’m not even training for anything right now so back off. Stupid long run.”

I’m proud to say that, despite its persistence, I managed to not run all weekend. But long runs are not so easily defeated. So, around 7pm last night, after finishing yoga, I began my usual 3M easy run; which started out a little fast for an ‘easy’ run and turned into 4M before I knew it.

Worse, I was running an out/back route, so that 4M was undoubtedly going to be an 8M run. And yet, I kept going until I surpassed the 6M mark.

Because it gets dark at 2pm these days, basically all runs are ‘night’ runs, even if it is only 8pm. And, to add upon my already oversized pile of stupid ideas building avalanche-like momentum, I was running the hilliest route I know. A combination of two hill routes I would never run together. Stupid Spike.

All of this brings me to the point of this post, or the crescendo if you will. I once read an article in Runners World wherein a runner claimed running hills at night is easier because you can’t see the top, and therefore you just keep running.

That’s bullsh#t. In my opinion. Stupid Monday night long run.

*That is, unless you are Nitmos and get to ‘work’ at home and can enjoy long lunches that involve quality runs.

Things and Stuff

2009-11-11T07:18:00.000-08:00

I managed to get free pictures from the Alternative 5K I ran a few weekends ago. I was also able to use very important work time to remove my bib number. For some reason, I’m not always able to do this. Therefore, a few pictures of Spike running.

Note: the award is for ‘Best Sporting of a Red Wrist Rocker.’ Thank you Chicago Marathon Expo...thank you very much!

My Race Year Recap

2009-11-08T13:18:00.000-08:00

Marathons run this year: 4 (my pre-Bayshore Marathon marathon [Earth Day Challenge], Bayshore, my post Bayshore marathon [Sunburst], and Chicago.

Half marathons: 2 (Borgess, Capital City River Run)

10Ks: 1 (bandit running of the Boyne City 4th of July Celebration Run)

5Ks: 5 (Super Bowl 5K [Feb], Shamrock 5K [Mar], Race for the Cure [Apr], Capital BanCorp 5K [May], Alternate 5K [Oct]

Miles run: 1326

Number of Pop-Tarts consumed: about 580 (most consumed flavors in order: Strawberry, Chocolate Chip, Brown Sugar)

Taco Bell Friday: 44 delicious times

Shoes and their #s: Sun Dancers (Kayano 14s) 334, Red Stars (2130s) 349, Omega Killers (2130s) 191; Blue Rho (2130s) 195; Delta Flyers (Kayano 14s) 193. All shoes are Asics.

AG awards: 5 (one first, three seconds, one third)

PRs in: the Marathon (Chicago), Half Marathon (Capital City River Run), 5K (Alternate 5K)

Weekends where I slept in both days: 1

Training programs used: Hal Higdon’s Advanced Intermediate II, FIRST: First to the Finish (expect a compare and contrast in the near future)

Number of typoos in the blog: about 53

Number of destroyed toenails: 2

Number of serious blisters: 4

Number of F*bombs dropped during a race: 18 (16 at the Bayshore Marathon, one at the Shamrock 5K when I was strollered, one when I was passed at mile 12 of the Borgess half by a 70+ old man who said “good job.”)

Number of times I ran with the cows: 8

Times the stars aligned: 1

Injuries: serious = plantar fasciitis, not so serious = left hip stiffness, sore right knee

Deer killed: 1

Manatee killed: now come on, do you really think I would do that…..

Girl Scout Cookies consumed: about 135

Number of ice baths post long runs: 0

Number of ice baths attempted: 1

Parties/social events willing declined due to long run: 29

Dollars fed to a goat: 1

The Laces Get Tangled

2009-11-05T06:31:00.000-08:00

In case you don’t know, I name my shoes. My Asics Kayano 14s are called Delta Flyers. My Asics 2130s (red/black) are called Omega Killers. My Asics 2130s (blue/white) are called Blue Rho.

Now these three pairs carried me through my Chicago training, and Blue Rho carried me on that fateful race day. So, needless to say, these shoes hold a special place in my heart.

Which is why, when I returned home, the initial shock turned into uncontrolled anger is seconds. Below is an entirely accurate transcript of the conversation.

Brooks: Hi, I’m new. I’m actually so new I’m not on the market. I’m the Brooks Defyance 3s.

Omega Killers: Brooks!!! Phfffttt. Your kind isn’t welcome here.

Brooks: Oh, that’s strange. Because Spike picked me out specifically, he had a choice. And he picked me.

Blue Rho: Bullcrap! Even it that’s true, he’ll never run in you.
Brooks: Well, the thing about that is that he already pounded out 4M with me.

BR: Gasp!!!

OK: Delta Flyers, tell me it isn’t true!

Delta Flyers: It’s true. He was wearing me as he picked them out. He even took me off—took me off—only to run with them instead. He even named them.

BR: He…he…he didn’t. He wouldn’t!

DF: He did.

Brookes: Yep, I’m Sigma Fire.

BR: Well, Sigma Fire, you had better watch your arch support.

DF: And keep those laces well tucked, I’d hate for something to happen to them.

OK: I’d hate for you to end up in the Oven, or something tragic like that.

SF: Yeah, well, I’m not all that intimidated by you. Bring you worst.

And then, this morning, I noted that the Sigma Fire were not along the running wall. I searched and searched, and finally found them here.

*I mean, come on guys, the old ‘frozen shoe trick.’

An Enemy in the Midst

2009-11-04T07:14:00.000-08:00

Last night, as I was leaving work, I got quite the surprise running related e-mail. A friend of mine informed me that he had included me on a list of runners to be a Guinea Pig for Runner’s World…yeah, that Runner’s World…upcoming shoe guide.*

So let’s be perfectly clear. I get a free pair of yet-to-be-released shoes, and I get to try them out—and keep them after the trial? I will let you poke me, prod me, shank me, cuddle me, even gently molest me for this honor.

In case you don’t know, I try to be as frugal as possible when it comes to buying shoes. I always buy Asics, and I always buy the ‘last year’s’ model. So, while Asics has just released the Kayano 16s and 2150s, I’m rocking a pair of Kayano 14s and two pairs of 2130s. Such a jump in shoe technology is like my own personal Back to the Future where Michael J. Fox gets the ‘hover-board.’

So, I scurry on over to Playmaker’s in my slightly-more-complex-Guinea-Pig-modified-hamster-ball knows as Bunny1 (what! What!) to get my free shoes. They ask me, “What kind of shoes do you run in?” and I respond, “Always Asics.” They then say, “Would you like to try a pair of New Balance, Saucony, Brooks, or stick with Asics?”

I get a choice?!?!?!?! A choice in free running shoes!!! Now, for a little while I’ve wanted to try a pair of Brooks, but I’ve been hesitant to try a new brand given the costs; but a free pair? Alas, my loyalty to Asics is strong. But, a shot a trying a new brand for free is so tempting. I am literally a kid in a candy shop—figuratively speaking. “I’ll try the Brooks,” I causally respond.

I’m asked what kind of runner I am, to which I respond: “mostly awesome.” Ok, I didn’t respond that way, I said I’m a neutral to stability runner. But you get the idea.

Then I’m given a pair of Brooks Defyance 3s. The toe box fits well and they are lighter than my Asics. And they are free, which has to make them feel pretty great! “Would you like to be a trial runner for this pair?” “Yes, I’ll give them a try.”

And I take those babies out for a little 4M run on MSU’s newly redesigned Farm Lane, which now includes several hills. And, I liked the shoes based on my initial run.

That’s the good part.

I’ll report on the bad part tomorrow. But just to give you a sneak peak, the picture below is of my Asics getting ready to attack the pair of Brooks. An enemy in their midst?

*For the record, my friend doesn’t know about this blog.

Help The Champion...if you want to...

2009-10-29T07:46:00.000-07:00

Hi! If you're receiving this, you may be somebody who I know from way way back in High School, or maybe you gave birth to me (hi Mom!). See I sent it to everyone I know, and I'm asking you all for $5.00, and to pass this on to everyone YOU know (who has the means to come up with $5.00).

The deal is, I'm walking 60 miles over the course of 3 days to raise money for the Susan G. Komen foundation, to help find a cure for Breast Cancer. And sincerely, I need your help, and this cause needs your help.

In better economic times I'd suggest that to come up with the $5.00, you might forego everyday luxury items like a Flirtini, a handful of Itunes songs covered by the cast of "Glee," or a tip-of-the-hat from your favorite street mime. But I know these hard times have forced you to give these things up already. So instead I'm suggesting that you might forego:
* A can of baby formula,
* A bottle of prescription medication, or
* A co-pay for a swine flu vaccination.

If sacrificing pleasantries isn't your thing, here are some $5.00 ideas:

* Steal $5.00 from someone who is not looking.
* Steal something WORTH $5.00 from someone who is not looking and list it on Craig's list:(Click here for my example) (Editors note: YOU MUST READ THIS, IT'S AMAZING)
* Convince 20 friends to invest $5.00 each with you and then provide the most vocal of the group with an outlandish return. Give $5.00 to me, and hide the rest for seed money.

I know you've already donated to other causes and you've probably already bought a box of Thin Mints or Tagalongs this year as well. So I'm fully aware that this is a "not another one - I already gave money!" situation. But think about this, did those girl scouts put your name on a scrolling web plugin? I think not. Did those girl scouts sleep in a pink tent or walk 60 miles? Maybe. But you’re an adult, so get your mind off of girl scout cookies for once. Those delicious cookies may taste good, but they're downright evil compared to this walking bit. Here's why.

Many of us (myself included) haven't been directly affected by Breast Cancer (yet), and we wait until it affects us or someone we care about before we take action. But causes like this need a lot MORE people to care. They need my $5.00 and they need your $5.00 too. The "walking" part doesn't help the cure as much as the "you donating $5.00" part. The walking gets your attention and gives me a reason to send this e-mail, but the fundraising is what matters. I know we can make a difference.

I've asked for $5.00 by design. Do not give too much! It makes much more sense for you to donate $5.00 and then pass this along to a friend, or 2 friends, or 10 friends. If you give $20.00, it's certainly appreciated, but the true power of our combined ability lies within our influence! Just give $5 and pass it on! I intend to get this message directly to 1,000 people. If you all get it out to just one other person, and the average donation we get from that group is $5.00, we can raise $10,000! That puts a 1% dent in the unrealistic $1,000,000 goal I posted on the pink thermometer site. And that, my friends, is pretty cool.

To donate, just go here.

That's all I've got. Thanks for reading, and even if you don't want to donate $5.00, feel free to send me a reply and we'll just catch up or something. That's good too.

Finally, for you big spenders who like to hurt feelings:

1) If you give me $100 instead of $5.00, I'll write whatever you want me to write on one of my arms with a Sharpie marker for the walk. Feel free to humiliate me. If helping others doesn't motivate you as much as hurting feelings does, then hurt away!

2) If you give me $200 instead of $5.00, I'll bring a little megaphone with me and literally say whatever you want me to. Again, with the hurting feelings. I can take it. It's for a good cause. Finally, thanks for reading all this. If you're like me, you get a lot of these requests.

Don't feel obligated to donate. Even if you can spread the word instead of throwing in an Abe Lincoln, it will make a difference. I hope to catch up with you soon, and I'll see you on the other side of a painful 60 mile walk!

From,

The Champion

Never What You Expect

2009-10-25T10:54:00.000-07:00

If you and hoped, even slightly, that you would see a race recap from the WMU Campus Classic 5K, stop reading right now. Stop. Seriously. Because you are not going to get it.

Why?!? Simple, I didn’t run it. WHAT??? Honestly, I didn’t run it. Did two weeks of post marathon slothfulness catch up? Did your plantar fasciitis finally become unbearable? Nope. And nope (but the latter still hurts badly). But, since you have persisted this far, I’ll tell you the story of why.

On Saturday evening I jumped onto the race webpage around 10pm to get directions to the race. When the page loaded I got that terrible sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. It appears the WMU Campus Classic 5K was run on Saturday morning.

So, your captain of the ‘running in circles’ team failed to realize his gland finale for the 2009 racing season was a Saturday morning race, and not a Sunday morning race. And that is why there will be no WMU Campus Classic 5K race report. I missed the friggen race.

Fortunately, I live in a 5K crazed region of the country. So I took a quick dip into the vast seas of the internet and found another 5K—this one scheduled to run on Sunday. And, in case you still care, my alternate 5K race report is below.

My alternate 5K was a small race, with less than 100 people participating. Now, I had hoped to trail some fast college kids to pull me through to a 17:58. But given this field, it no longer seemed like an option. Oh, well, the burden has always been on me to run as fast as I can.

I get to the race early, register, and warm up. As I’m toeing the line I’m also fidgeting with my iPod. The gun impersonates a clap of lightning, and the race is off. Immediately five people blast out in front of me. And nobody else is around me. It is only at mile one (no clocks at this race) that I glance down at my Garmin and notice that in the commotion of the official start I failed to hit ‘start.’ It simply read (0:00:00). FAIL Spike, FAIL.

Well, I’m just going to have to run this one on feel. And right now I feel like I want to die. We are running along a river and all I want to do is jump in and begin my long overdue swimming lessons. I don’t, I just keep running. And pretty soon mile two is denoted by chalk writing on the ground. By this time, I’ve pretty much lost sight of the two runners I had before me. I’m wondering how fast they are going, and therefore how fast I’m going. But what I mostly think about is how the Pop-Tarts I consumed this morning are not happy with me. At this point I feel like I’ve settled into cruising speed, and that a sub 18:00 (or a PR) is out of the question.

As I near mile 3 I’m wondering why the Pop-Tarts are still so angry. When the finish line is in sight I buckle down and refuse to look at the clock. I’m just trying to get it over with.

As I cross I notice the clock reads 18:06.

18:06. Hummm…a new PR. And I’m quite happy about it. Yeah, I missed my goal. And yeah, had I known I was so close I could have pushed harder in mile two and the start of mile three, and made up those few seconds. But I won my ag, and would have won my ag at the WMU 5K as well. And bling is bling.

All things considering, I’m pretty excited. In a two-week span I BQed, destroyed 22 Pop-Tarts, ate Taco Bell 6 times, eviscerated a deer with my car, rocked McDonalds 3 times, loved BW3s once, ate pizza 9 times (including the night before my 5K and for lunch the day before Chicago), consumed more Dark Chocolate Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups than could be considered safe (and that’s not even taking into account all the other candy I enjoyed), drank Mt. Dew for 12 of the 14 days, made a rather non-specific “Zombie Survival Plan” (just meet me halfway), ate 7 doughnuts, and ran three times totaling 13 miles.

I love running.

Although I’m not going to disappear during my time away from serious running, I want to thank all of you for your kind words and support this year. Please know I’ve enjoyed sharing your ups, downs, aches and pains, triumphs, and stories.

The Last Race

2009-10-23T06:55:00.000-07:00

Sunday marks the last race of the season for me. I will be running in the WMU Campus Classic 5K.* I have always heard good things about this race. It should have some fast college kids to help drag my 32 year-old body through the finish line.

So let’s talk about goals for this 5K. I want to run a 17:58. And scheduling a 5K two weeks after my marathon seemed like a good idea. I’d be in good physical shape, I wouldn’t have any additional long runs to fret about, I can retool and focus on speed for a few weeks, and I’ll be well rested.

But I never went so far as to write down a training plan. Which has lead to this; its two days away from the 5K and, since Chicago, I’ve done three runs: an easy 3M, and to 5M at 6:30/M (read no speed work at all). Oh, and one yoga class. I’ve also had what can only amount to an intervention about my post-marathon eating habits. Look, lots of people would eat leftover cake from an office party at 7:15am the following day; and by lots of people I mean me. Those concerned will not be happy to hear that I’ll be heading to Taco Bell for lunch today (ummm…black taco).

But it’s Taco Bell Friday, and rules are rules.
Lastly, I’ll be shutting my running down for the next 8 or 10 weeks. During that time I plan on taking a swimming class, reading more books, taking a vacation somewhere warm (even cold runners enjoy the sun and sand sometimes), and attempting to negotiate a much needed peace between the star bellied llamas of East Lansing and the non-star bellied llamas of Okemos. I myself prefer alpacas.

tensions are running high

*Please note that Taco Bell is a sponsor of this race!!!

A Special Shout Out

2009-10-20T07:45:00.000-07:00

If you ever think running a marathon is impossible, or that only some people can run a marathon…you are wrong. Last weekend this wonderful blogger completed the Nike Women’s Marathon. During her training Ms. V. struggled as much as any human could, she shared it all, and she still managed to keep the best attitude possible. She finished a marathon, something she never thought possible. And she didn’t just do it for herself, she was a fundraiser for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society as well.

Make sure you give her some props, she deserves all if it!!!

New Stuff

2009-10-19T08:08:00.000-07:00

I shall wax poetically for a moment—you have been warned. They say you should never try anything new before a marathon. I wonder if they include starting a new job the week before the marathon? Well, I looked high and low for ‘they’ but couldn’t find them. So I decided to do it anyway. Worked out fine. But this does mean posting and commenting will be a little sporadic for a few weeks (read: as I discover exactly what is contained in the “Acceptable Computer/Internet Use Policy” and how closely they monitor/enforce it.).

Ever have a perfect—and totally unexpected—weekend? I had me one of those recently. You have a secret hope that things will maybe work out in your favor. You quietly hope you’ll catch a break or two as you lie awake in bed; painfully recalling all the breaks you failed to catch. And then, because sometimes the stars align, everything not only works out—not only perfectly—but even the most optimistic of secret hopes are eviscerated. All of which leaves you beaming and exhausted on a Sunday evening.

Speaking of evisceration, my beloved Eco-friendly SUV (read: destroyer of Earth vehicle) eviscerated a deer this past weekend. Now, it is deer hunting season in Michigan, but I’m not really a hunter. That fact notwithstanding, a deer decided it was going to race me as I was traveling 70mph on the highway. In case you don’t already know this, deer will explode when they squarely collide with the front of your car at that speed; but not before they decide to destroy your front end, radiator, and a little sense of diver security. Now, don’t worry, I’m fine. Although I am typing this post from the hospital, in a full body cast, using a very frustrating bendi-straw—I’m fine, really.

This of course means that I needed to borrow (or rent) a car for a few days. Fortunately for me, my family was able to help out. That’s the good. The bad is that I’ll be rocking my mom’s minivan. Yep, Spike is rolling hardcore in “Bunny1.” Aren’t vanity plates swell.

Finally, please take a moment to harass Nitomos for running the Detroit Marathon Relay along with Mrs. Nitmos, and Running and Living for rocking the Baystate Marathon.

Chicagoland—Race Recap

2009-10-12T08:20:00.000-07:00

If you want the short version, please click here.

For those of you willing to suffer the long version, here you go.

--The Expo—

On Friday I met up with Redhead (her cuz and cuz’s boyfriend) and BoB. We briefly hung out before they had to head back home. But I have to say, the short time we spent at the expo was fabulous. I mean, those FL girls rock!

Next I went and signed up with Nike’s 3:10 B corral pace team, and promptly dropped a few Benjamins at the Nike expo store. Then I headed over to the Asics store and proceeded to tell them how much I love their shoes-and bought a sweet green and white long sleeve running shirt that says “26.2 To Hell and Back!” I also picked me up a bad-a—and free—set of red wristbands. I capped off Friday night with some excellent Mexican from Uncle Julio’s.*

Saturday I returned to the expo (but too late to meet up with Irish Cream and Tom from Runner’s Lounge—sorry!!!), but was able to meet up with Frayed Laces. It was so awesome to meet all of my fellow bloggers. You are real people, and you are just as cool in person as you are on your blog!

--Race Morning—

I awoke at 5:15, with the goal of being down at the race at 6:00am.** Well, you know what they say about the best laid plans (at least the weather was working for me—as every prior marathon had temps that reached at least the high 60s—Sunday was low 40s). The main reason for the delay was a Gatorade bottle. Stupid Gatorade bottle. I had left it in my car, and left my cuz’s pad to go get it. When I returned I noticed that the door had locked behind me. Oh, and she lives on the third floor. So I knocked, and knocked, and knocked. But to no avail, she didn’t hear me. Thus, I was left with no other option but to use my super Ninja skills to climb a chain link fence, stand upright on it, and then jump three feet to the second floor balcony. From there I could use the steps to her floor. And of course, as I’m about to leap I’m thinking: “Spike race report: injured falling off of fence!” This little adventure set us back 20 minutes. But, I managed not to break my neck or twist an ankle, so that is good vary good start.

Then came the next pre-race screw up. Although I have never told you about this, I use to put my Gus in my shorts before I started stretching. Then one race a Gu packet exploded when I plopped down to stretch. Thereafter, I stopped putting Gu in my shorts before I stretched.

I tell you this because in my hurry to strip down to my racing outfit and get my stuff to the gear check before it closed, I forgot to put the Gus in. I notice this after I was forced to climb up and then jump over another chain link fence to get into the seated start corral. The seated corral guards had caused a huge backup because they were talking too long to get people in.

About five minutes before race and I’m thinking, “no Gu? How will I survive?” I dug deep and found my inner Zen runner, then decided I wouldn’t worry because I’d grab the Gu offered on the course—I’d just deal. I’m a big boy, I can deal.

--The Race—

I was in corral B, and lined up behind the 3:10 B pace team. My plan was to sit on them for the first 20 or 22 miles, then leave them to ensure a BQ. In all honestly, I don’t even know why I make race plans—I never follow them.

What I ended up doing is running ahead of the 3:10 B team and catching up with the 3:10 A pace team around mile 5. At that point I was about 1:00 ahead of a 3:10 pace. My new plan was to just ride with the A team the remainder of the way.

And this plan I was following pretty well. The crowds were great, loud and supportive. Big moments in the race this year was blowing past the water station where I collided with a runner last year and injured myself; passing mile 15, where I had to stop and begin my walk/slow jog to the finish last year; and running through Pilsen—where the crowd was beyond amazing. But most significant was seeing my Cuz and her family cheer me on around mile 5 and 11. Their enthusiasm and encouragement was of tremendous value.

I was surprised at how quickly we turned North on Michigan Ave at around mile 23.3. What I was even more surprised to feel was the twinge of my calves. A runner darted in front of me as we rounded the corner and I had to hop a bit to avoid him. It was when I landed that they started screaming. The same scream I’ve suffered in previous marathons. The same scream that ended an amazing race in Bayshore at mile 20.

I quickly looked at my watch and noted I was still 1:00 ahead of pace, so I pulled off and stretched them out for about 20 seconds. I just kept saying positive things like ‘run relaxed’ and ‘not this time.’ I only threatened them once. And they remained calm. Shortly thereafter I found myself right behind the 3:10 A pacers again.

At mile 25.2 (marked by a wonderful sign) I started my “Boston” chant. And several feet from the finish line, when I was sure a BQ was going to happen, I may have stopped and posed for the crowd.

I then crossed and experienced the joy of a great race. And the joy of a BQ.

--Post Race—

I met up with the Redhead, BoB, and a few others to soak up the joy of finishing a marathon. I also consumed a total of 20 Girl Scout cookies after the race. Man life is good.

So, congrats to the Redhead for finishing her first marathon, and special thanks to BoB for making a wonderful sign “Don’t Poop Spike!” Don’t worry, I didn’t during the race.

Also, congrts go to Sun Runner, who just set a new PR in the half!

* In case you are wondering what I ate on the ever important day before the marathon, I had Pop-Tarts, yogurt, and a banana for breakfast, pepperoni and mushroom pizza for lunch, and pasta for dinner at this amazing place. Note: I did have Taco Bell on Friday—as it was Taco Bell Friday.

** For race morning breakfast, I had Pop-Tarts, yogurt, and one and a half bananas.

The Goal

2009-10-08T19:11:00.000-07:00

Bayshore was my first attempt to really race a marathon. I had a perfect race going, then my baby cows decided to destroy everything. Calf cramps aside, I still managed a respectable 3:17.

My goal for Chicago has always been to BQ. I plan on sitting on the 3:10 pace group for the first 20M, then try to leave them. My training runs have all prepared me for this. I’ve done 5 20M+ runs, including two 24M runs. Now, the only thing left to do is to race.

Good luck to everyone running Chicago with me! And everyone else who may be racing this weekend.

Ready to Race?

2009-10-06T18:44:00.000-07:00

If you think that just doing your mileage, dutifully following a training plan and plodding through long runs on hot and sweaty summer evenings have you prepared to race a marathon, you have much to learn young padawan.

Based off of personal experience, I suggest the following non-running related items for consideration if you are racing out of town.

Bring your own alarm clock (or one that runs on batteries)
Bring your own pillow (or pillows if you use two like me). Nothing worse than trying to sleep on a hotel bed and not being able to sleep on their super hard/soft pillows.
If the hotel doesn’t have a refrigerator (or it does but it’s full of overpriced beer and juice which can’t be removed), bring yourself a cooler. A bag or two will keep it cool all weekend long.
Earplugs are good if you happen to be staying in a hotel where there is a wedding party (the after party is where it is at, but you may not want to be there). Make sure you test your earplugs with your alarm…trust me. In fact, ask the hotel if there is a wedding party that weekend before you even make the reservation.
If you are flying, I strongly suggest you carry on your race day shoes, and clothing, Garmin, and iPod. I mean, not that an airline has ever lost a checked bag. Plus, pretty much everything else can be bought at the expo.
Your favorite stuffed animal. I mean, if you have one, not that I do…would a grown man still sleep with a stuffed animal…pleeezzzzzz. Please don’t judge.
Tylenol and Advil.

And, just in case you don’t already do this, I can’t suggest strongly enough that you charge your Garmin two days before the marathon. And check it the day before. And some people can attest, things can go wrong the morning of—even if they manage to qualify for Boston.

My Various Gods are Demanding

2009-10-01T14:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, we moved our v-ball game from outside to indoors. The indoor game is quite different; much faster, higher jumping, harder hit balls (yeah, that just happened), and the playing surface has no give. Apparently the Volleyball Gods desired a sacrifice, and they got a little skin off of my left knee. Thus is the penalty I must pay.

Then the ever demanding Running Gods required I sacrifice a run. So, I attempted a 6M tempo run. I was about 30sec slow per mile, with snot as thick as Jell-O (eat that Bill Cosby…on secondhand, don’t go near it). But I had to do the run, even knowing my illness would prevent a solid effort. I’ve run through sickness before, and the Running Gods always require at least one run. There, take it. Just leave me alone come October 11, 2009.

Outside of these two activities, I’ve been sleeping, and watching movies. Nothing else, I swear.

Sick

2009-09-30T08:56:00.000-07:00

I’m sick. Very very sick. It just happened yesterday. Better now, 10 days out, than 4 days out. Apparently, all transgressions must be paid for in full.

How Not To Race a Half-Marathon

2009-09-28T06:49:00.000-07:00

The following are things I strongly suggest you do not do before racing a half.

1) While the party bus is stopping for more beer and liquor, do not run .25M to a Taco Bell to grab some deliciousness—even if you are very hungry and inherently suspect of wedding food. I specifically do not recommend running almost half a mile in your rented shoes (read: ice stakes with shiny black tops).

2) Do not assume that your race bib and d-tag (which are located in your car) are safe because they are in your car. Especially when you have to give your keys to a friend because you are on the party bus. If you do, you will realize at 6:45am race day that your race bib and d-tag are in fact no longer in your car, but at your friend’s house roughly 30 minutes away.

3) Do not fail to recognize that the groom is going to reenact the famous dance move from Dirty Dancing and you end up unexpectedly catching a 260lb man while simultaneously straining your lower back. Because, said lower back will hurt for the rest of the night and the following morning before the race.

4) Do not dance your little booty off in previously mentioned destroyer of feet rental shoes until about 10pm (when you finally realize how much your feet actually hurt and you put on a pair of running shoes—retired of course).

5) Do not go out to a club/bar after the wedding and dance for several more hours. And really, do not close down the bar.

6) Do not stop and eat greasy pizza at 2am. I mean, you do have a race in about six hours.

7) Do not get home and to bed around 3am. This is true no matter what. But this is even more true when you have previously agreed to meet up with some friends at 6:40am so that everyone can get to the race early. Because that would mean you have to get up at 6am to be on time.

If you fail to observe these rules, you will find yourself at the starting line with just under 3 hours of sleep, very sore feet, an even worse lower back, all kinds of angry digestive problems, and the stupidest smirk on your face.

The aforementioned notwithstanding, I had an amazing time at the wedding. Congrats J and J. The back pain went away during the race and I sat on the 7:00/M pace group for the first 11M. Then I surged with another member of the pack and finished just ahead of the group. All things considering, it was a great race. I was right on pace.

Shortcut

2009-09-23T08:16:00.000-07:00

Thanks for caring, but not enough to read my entire race report. Just kidding, I love you regardless.

I BQed, finishing under 3:10.

What the Long Run Giveth, the Long Run Taketh Away

2009-09-22T21:33:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday presented my final long run before Chicago. I had a goal of between 22M and 24M, depending on how things were going (and whether drunken students messed with my hydration).

I awoke at 4:30am to begin my run at 6am, but was thwarted by my Garmin (pbtn), who had decided that a blank screen would be all I got regardless of the frequency or ferocity with which I pushed the on/off button. Fortunately for me, after consulting an awesome friend who had experienced a similar problem, I found my Garmin bible (read: owners manual) and was able to reset it and begin my run by 6:30am.

The weather was perfect and I proceeded to pound out some awesome miles. I felt so good in fact that I decided to rock the 23rd and 24th miles. I went home, ate a yogurt and then bought two McDonald’s sausage and egg muffins. Delicious. Healthy. Wonderful.

But, such good long runs are never for free, and I paid for it today on my 8 800s. For the official first day of fall I was greeted with 82 degree temps with some humidity to boot. *Thank Running Gods* They were a struggle, going 2:49, 2:49, 2:51, 2:53, 2:51, 2:56, 3:05, 2:59. Yep, I lost all hope and desire during that 7th repeat. Oh well, I responded pretty well on my last.

I am now in full taper mode. I only hope I can keep it together.

An Ode to Fall

2009-09-17T08:50:00.000-07:00

Winter Chasing Fall

sometimes Fall stretches its long legs and darts into mid-November,
sometimes Fall just concedes defeat and pulls-up short in October,
sometimes Winter surpasses Fall, and Fall responds in turn,
regardless, every year Winter catches up with Fall,
it’s a race with a foregone conclusion, the result is never in doubt,
but it is a wonderful race to watch, as it is never exactly the same,
and the colors of Fall always outlast the Winter’s white grays,
so, while Winter may win the day, it is Fall that wins our hearts.

Track Track Track

2009-09-16T07:14:00.000-07:00

Last weekend’s long run was awesome. I started at 6am (well, I had to make it to tailgate early) and clocked off 15 very comfortable miles. Despite the fact that there was some wide variance of my pace (fastest mile was 6:53, slowest was 7:14), my average was a very solid 7:03/M.

But my track workout yesterday was much more consistent. I ventured back to MSU’s track with the hope that it wouldn’t be closed to runners. Fortunately, it was not. So I plowed through 10 400m. My fastest was 71 seconds and my slowest was 74 seconds; and laps 2-7 were all 73 seconds. Such consistency is rare for me, but I’ll gladly take it.

Owned

2009-09-11T08:33:00.000-07:00

I could tell you about how my speed workout and 10M marathon pace runs went, but I believe this video does a better job. Oh, and I'm the proverbial kid.

Recovery Runs, Broken iPods, and Missing Water

2009-09-10T11:13:00.000-07:00

Following a late night at Hacienda Holiday, my friend “The Champion” requested I accompany him on a 6M run. The Champion is climbing Mt. Rainer this weekend, and has been training for it for weeks. As an aside, the Champion has been one of my closest friends since college but lives in Arizona now.

Our run was an easy pace, and we had an amazing conversation about how difficult it is to actually ‘be’ in a moment, and how often we let things slip away because we are so busy thinking as oppose to listening. We also discussed the ever important questions we had of the other’s sport (i.e. what do you do when you have to go to the bathroom on a mountain/running a marathon). Well, we are boys after all.

_____

A few weeks ago my iPod, named “The Emergence of Fall and Joy,” broke whilst I was running in the rain. Since then the light doesn’t work and it won’t hold a charge for very long. So I had to buy a new one. Only thing is, Apple stopped making the iPod shuffle 2.0, they have a new version about the size of a stick of Trident and the controls are on the headphones. So, basically, not so great for running.

This led to driving to several different ‘box stores’ to by an ‘older’ version. Sadly, I couldn’t find the old version in any color other than hot pink. What I was able to find, however, was a refurbished silver one. The new iPod has been christened “Ghost of Great Expectations.”

I’m also planning on getting my old one fixed, because these babies are now officially on relic status.
_____

In case you are unaware, I place 8oz bottles of water on my long run courses; one every 5M. For most of my long runs, mile 15 is located alongside MSU’s campus. I hide the 15M water bottle by some bushes the night before my run. During my 21M run a few weeks ago someone got to my water before I did, and I was quite upset to see it smashed and empty. This is not something I dealt with very well because I was thirsty and because it meant no water until mile 20.

Stupid students.

Well, for my 23M run, I moved my route a bit and hid my water (and a Gatorade) by where my friends would be tailgating. They had agreed to put them on ice and give them to me on my way through. Well, again somebody destroyed my hydration at mile 15. Fortunately, my friends went to buy a water bottle for me (apparently they don’t bring water to a tailgate).

Mile 15 is the only place where water has ever gone missing off the course. And I’m not entirely sure what I can do about it. If I find a more difficult place to hide them, I might as well burry it. Hummm…suggestions?

Hacienda Holiday

2009-09-08T13:07:00.000-07:00

Every Labor Day a wonderfully destructive group of my friends get together for a little event we call Hacienda Holiday. This weekend is filled with the three essentials: sacrificing meat on a grill, breaking mildly expensive things, and risking lives in water (because “the river will take your life if you don’t respect it. Ain’t no current in a lake, but there current in that river.”)

As you can imagine, fitting in a long run during such festive activities is difficult. So I mashed my 23M long run in early Saturday morning in East Lansing; and it was a perfect Fall for a long run. My goal pace was marathon pace plus 30sec, and of course I ran my first mile 30 seconds too fast! However I quickly settled down and stayed fairly close to my goal pace.

Then miles 19 and 20 came along, where I plopped down +8sec on and +14sec my goal pace. Surprisingly, however, I was feeling good as I grabbed my last water on the course and therefore decided to try and push my last 3M. I was able to hit the next three at 7:17, 7:08, and 7:16. I was feeling so good I decided to do one more, a very pleasing 7:08.

Overall it was a great run with an average of 7:21/M (-9sec of goal pace). Everything about the run was good, except for the missing water bottle at mile 15; which I will discuss later this week.

And finally, in case you were wondering, putting circus peanuts and marshmallows in a microwave will create an awful mess and cause said microwave to stop functioning for several hours. In case you didn’t already know that.

If You Give a Goat a Dollar: Part II

2009-09-03T09:57:00.000-07:00

Today all of you are luck enough to get two posts in one.

Part One: Fall Races

It occurred to me last night while having dinner with some of my running friends that I had yet to sign up for my other two fall races. Well, I had better get on that and take advantage of the early registration while I still can. I mean, we are talking about 5 bucks here, maybe 10 if I was really late.

This morning I signed up for the Capital City River Run Half-Marathon. A race I’ve done several times and love quite well. The course is scenic and has only two small/medium sized hills (one early, one late). I plan on using this race as a pre-Chicago dry-run. I’ve done this in the past with great success. Also, FIRST calls for a 13M run at marathon pace. I love it when a plan comes together.

I also signed up for a race I’ve never run, the WMU Homecoming Campus Classic. This 5K is two weeks after Chicago and will be my shot for trying to nail a sub 18:00 before a step down my training for a little bit. This should be a competitive race considering it’s on a college campus; so lots of young kids to drag me along.

Part Two: The Return of the Goat

Some of you may know that I enlisted some non-conventional help in hopes of obtaining good weather for the Chicago Marathon. Well, because there is photographic evidence, I should tell the other half of the story.

After the goat ate my dollar some people—let’s just call them tree hugging animal rights’ whiners—insisted that feeding a goat a dollar was cruel and harmful. Like eating a dollar (let’s just call it fiber) would have some sort of a negative effect on the goat’s precious little goat tummy. So, to prove a point, I ate half of a dollar bill, along with my cohort (who ate the other half). Below I provide the visual evidence of feeding the goat a dollar and my subsequent consumption of America’s great currency (what can I say, I ate lots of pennies as a child).

Oh, don’t think I’m not aware of the irony of saving five bucks on a race registration while so casually donating two dollars to various digestive systems. I am what I am. And if I wasn’t so thrifty with my race registration, I wouldn’t be able to afford to feed goats dollars.

Note: the dollar on the ground before consumptoin

"I've had better."

“Mighty Brave of You”

2009-09-02T10:33:00.000-07:00

Apparently, the reports of Summer’s early demise have been slightly exaggerated around here. But the sunset time is steadily creeping down, so my ‘evening’ track sessions are becoming ‘mid-evening’ track sessions. Oh well, we do what we do.

As I walked onto the track I noted one other runner and a large carpet draped across the track and buttressed up against the football field. This carpet is quite helpful in avoiding damage to the track by all those unfriendly football cleats, but doesn’t help the runners one bit while it’s down. So, I simply pulled the carpet back on top if itself and out of lanes one and two.

Shortly thereafter the other runner stopped and asked whether I had pulled the carpet back? I resisted all temptation to blurt out a condescending insult (like, no the magic track gnomes did it) and simply answered affirmatively. He then asked me if I had permission to do that, and I said “No.” The other runner stood there silently for a few seconds and then said, “I’m glad you did that, it’s mighty brave of you.”

Feeling like a hero, I ran 1K, 2K, 1K, and 1K. My times were three seconds off my goal time per 1K. Consistent. Nice. I really feel I could have made my goal times, but the other runner had left and I was running these alone. Of the many things I miss about running with the MMTC, having other people push you to go faster on speed work is definitely one of them.

This weekend I’ve got a 23M run, and I’m going to try something different with my music. The twist is to listen to a book for the first half, and then music for the last half. I mean, I have all this unused space on my iPod.