The Next Big Thing

100M

It’s stupid.  It’s absurd.  But it’s possible. 

Last year I toyed around with the idea of doing a 100M race after Boston.  But a nagging injury lead to my anit-Nitmos S.o.S. (Summer of Sloth) training program.  Sadly, this was the only ‘training’ program I’ve ever executed perfectly.  A training program that was so successful I carried it over into my fall and early winter training schedules. 

And if he can reuse the S.o.S. theme, I can repurpose it again.  Thus, I’m proud to announce my Summer of Stupid Slow, or S.o.S.S. 

This fall, before the Redhead and I tie the laces (go there now to check out some of our engagement photos if you so wish), I’m going to attempt to run 100 miles.  Now, you may be wondering, why?  It all harkens back to when I was in middle school and my friend Drew’s father used to tell us stories about how he and a few of his friends would do a 100 mile race when they were in their younger years.  He’d talk about how they would run and race against horses.  As relative studs on our middle school team, we were pretty sure nobody has ever run further than two miles, yet alone 100.FN1  But the story never left me.  Only after college did I discover that such races do in fact exist.

Sure, lots of people have told me I should attempt a shorter ultra distance before I do this.  Even internet experts and ultra-marathon professionals make this recommendation.  I scoff at you all.  I’m just excited about the idea of running to the Taco Bell one town over and ordering some tacos to go, then eating them on the walk part of my run.  I’m interested to find out if any of the fancy camel packs out there contain two bladders so I can fill one with water and one with Mt. Dew.  I’m excited about running at night and suffering from exercise induced flashbacks where I recall my time in Texas as an outlaw simply because I was trying to get justice for my brother’s ruined scooter.FN2  I’m eager for the moment when I see the sun rise after running for several hours through the night and I begin to cry…only to end up in a blubbering heap mumbling  “double rainbow!” 

One day I hope to tell my son and/or daughter and their annoying friends how I ran 100 miles.  I know they won’t believe me, mostly because I plan on lying to my children from the beginning.  Including telling them their mother is an evil alien robot that is going to harm them when they sleep.  What?  Isn’t the fun of having kids to battle with your spouse for the hearts and minds of those little DNA half-copies.  I digress. 

I’ll be doing some shorter races this year as well.  But the real goal is to slow it down and go long. (TWSS)FN3

FN1: Yes, in one of four middle schools in one of fifteen-ish towns in one county in one state, I would consider myself a relative track stud. 

FN2: What, is my Legend of Billie Jean to vague of a reference, should I have gone with a Balls of Fury reference instead? 

FN3: That is for you Adam.