Thursday, November 5, 2009

The Laces Get Tangled

In case you don’t know, I name my shoes. My Asics Kayano 14s are called Delta Flyers. My Asics 2130s (red/black) are called Omega Killers. My Asics 2130s (blue/white) are called Blue Rho.

Now these three pairs carried me through my Chicago training, and Blue Rho carried me on that fateful race day. So, needless to say, these shoes hold a special place in my heart.

Which is why, when I returned home, the initial shock turned into uncontrolled anger is seconds. Below is an entirely accurate transcript of the conversation.

Brooks: Hi, I’m new. I’m actually so new I’m not on the market. I’m the Brooks Defyance 3s.

Omega Killers: Brooks!!! Phfffttt. Your kind isn’t welcome here.

Brooks: Oh, that’s strange. Because Spike picked me out specifically, he had a choice. And he picked me.

Blue Rho: Bullcrap! Even it that’s true, he’ll never run in you.
Brooks: Well, the thing about that is that he already pounded out 4M with me.

BR: Gasp!!!

OK: Delta Flyers, tell me it isn’t true!

Delta Flyers: It’s true. He was wearing me as he picked them out. He even took me off—took me off—only to run with them instead. He even named them.

BR: He…he…he didn’t. He wouldn’t!

DF: He did.

Brookes: Yep, I’m Sigma Fire.

BR: Well, Sigma Fire, you had better watch your arch support.

DF: And keep those laces well tucked, I’d hate for something to happen to them.

OK: I’d hate for you to end up in the Oven, or something tragic like that.

SF: Yeah, well, I’m not all that intimidated by you. Bring you worst.

And then, this morning, I noted that the Sigma Fire were not along the running wall. I searched and searched, and finally found them here.

*I mean, come on guys, the old ‘frozen shoe trick.’


RazZDoodle said...

This is why I don't wear Asics anymore. They're too vengeful and angry.

"pounded out"...good choice of words

Morgan said...

The ol' freezer trick huh? LOL! Well at least you're used to running in cold conditions...

Sun Runner said...

I think your apartment resides in a weird and disturbing parallel dimension.

Now, if your pack of rabid Asics had wanted to be really evil, they would have dunked Sigma Fire into a mud puddle, because he's clearly too pristine white and all.

Not that I'm giving anyone any ideas...right guys? guys??

OK, now I know I've gone off the deep end because I'm assuming your shoes are using a computer and know how to read.

Like I said, weird parallel dimension...

(P.S. I hope your Sigma Fires didn't eat any bacon while they were in there. That's my Brooks' favorite food.)

Amy said...

Mmmm... chocolate chip cookie dough.

I'm easily distracted...

GeorgiaSnail said...

Sooooo, what is so wierd about having a special shelf for your shoes AND chocolate chip cookie dough?

Running and living said...

So you name your running shoes? And you have a shoe wall? And your Brooks reside in the freezer? Just noticing:)

Ms. V. said...


Adam said...

I totally believe this exchange took place. After all, you don't think it was those mob guys who would put people's shoes into concrete so that their owner sunk to the bottom of the lake?

Nope, totally the mob guy's shoes.

TallGuySurfing said...

Dude! I have a hard enough time keeping my feet warm in cold conditions! LOL.... I've named all of my surfboards; Papa Smurf, Mr. Anderson, The Log, Team Neilson and Alana the Alaia!
Funny post, enjoyed it! Oh and are those some cookies in your freezer? Yum!

Paul said...

Always a great read, Spike. So do I assume your shoes are all female????

Irish Cream said...

Poor, Brooks! They look so . . . cold. And hungry! I can't believe they didn't chow down on that cookie dough! Mmm--cookie dough.