Today is National Running Day. Imagine, an entire day dedicated to running—a sport I love. Millions of people will get outside and run; many for the first time in a long time. There will be balloons, water, music, laughter, and sweat.
As for me, I am not running on principal. The whole event reeks of corporate greed and Hallmark. Unless you have a scheduled run for a race you are preparing for, I suggest you join my boycott.
Now, my boycott won’t involve anything fancy like an official protest or rally at the steps of the capital, such efforts are too showy for me. My boycott is more likely to involve me sitting outside with my bullhorn harassing any NRD participants.* I expect this harassment to continue unabated until the pizza I order from my cell phone arrives. Also, I expect to harass every runner, regardless of their knowledge of NRD or not. If you can’t make it to the East Lansing area, I suggest you hold your own boycott.
So, join me and billions of others by taking a load off, kicking your shoes off and your feet up, and relax, you can always run tomorrow when—like me—you have a run scheduled.
* I would like to thank Nitmos, whose various forms to taunting his children have inspired this particular form of boycott.