Monday, April 4, 2011

The Green Wheelbarrow

so much depends
upon


how you decide to look at life. I for one have decided that being a State Farm Insurance representative has to be the worst job ever. Seriously. I used to believe SF employees were like all other insurance employees and worked a regular 9 to 5. Wrong. Apparently, SF has been bestowed with Genie like powers which it passes along to its authorized agents; thereby allowing its agents to grant wild whims for idiotic customers.

Seems you can make your automobile mishap into an 'anything I ever wanted or desired' fantasy. Want a sexier significant other and Bob Parker to relax in your new hot tub while LeBron James plays a tiny violin? Your SF agent can make it happen. Get fired from a job-- just go crash your can and you can magically have your SF agent appear and command them to eliminate your boss while also delivering the girl from apartment 4F into your arms. Yep, that isn't at all slightly frighting.

Worse. Can you even imagine the stress you would constantly live under if you were a SF agent? It is 2am and you are sound asleep; but somewhere a client gets into an accident. Poof, you are whooshed out of bed to...what else...work. Seems SF expects its employees to work around the clock. Seriously, I would be afraid to go to the bathroom; heaven forbid you are taking your time on a solid number two when *POOF* you are whooshed away. And there you are, god knows where, scrambling to get your pants up. Then you are expected to smile and begin assessing the damage.

Away on a family vacation; better hope every single one of your customers knows it. Otherwise you could be whisked away from your family and the beach only to find yourself in a crappy car being attacked by rabid buffalo. As an employment attorney, I strongly suggest you read the fine print before you become a SF agent.

Yep, taper has me a little on edge...

8 comments:

Kandi said...

So you're saying I may have to crash my car soon? Oh wait, I don't have SF...

Sun Runner said...

I'm not sure I even want to know what inspired this post.

Yes, I think you have a bad case of taper madness.

Morgan said...

This post is STILL just as random as it was when you read it to me last night. I can't wait til you run Boston and get back to norma... wait, nevermind. You were never normal to begin with.

Nitmos said...

An employment attorney? Are your clients all the folks my wife's HR company is firing?

This level of crazy indicates you are supremely prepared for Boston. Will we see a goals post?

Ironman By Thirty said...

I feel like I just got of glimpse of the inside of Spike's head.

I want out... now.

tahoegirl said...

Interesting thoughts.

Running and living said...

I have to agree with Nitmos. The higher the crazy scale, the bigger the PR!

Candice @ I Have Run said...

You put my thoughts about SF into words. Enjoy the taper =)