Ode to the MAC Treadmills

You, of course resting inside,
For a treadmill outside is as lost
As a runner without a Garmin,
Trust me, this is true,
And yet, your warm enclosure
Which houses you so quaintly,
Lacks an ever-changing environment,
Attached TV notwithstanding,
And I, I run on you; and, because of
Your lack wind and your Chicago-esk
Elevation, I get super hot, and
Super board, and I feel I must
Run faster than as if I were
Outside, because these
Guys say so, and so I run
Harder in a hot and sweaty
And no chance for a slight
Breeze to cool me down room.

But why, I pray tell, why is it
You make 6 miles seem like 8,
8 seem like 12, and 12 seem like
A marathon?